The Good (darkie), the Bad (moi), and the Stupid (Junior): A Warstory

So, I was chilling out on IRC one day when moi started going on about how he named the members of his new team after people he's known at Smogon. He mentioned my name among the list. Intrigued, I challenged young moi to a Pokémon battle!

Note: this was played before Platinum was implemented.

My team:



darkie's moves will look like this.
moi's moves will look like this.
Chat will look like this.
Leftovers will be removed.
Nicknames will be removed.
Sandstorm/hail damage will be removed.
Scores will be shown after each KO.

Rules: Evasion Clause, Freeze Clause, OHKO Clause, Sleep Clause, Species Clause, Strict Damage Clause, Timed Battle
darkie sent out Scizor (lvl 100 Scizor ?).
moi sent out Wayff (lvl 100 Metagross).
Scizor used U-turn.
Metagross lost 27% of its health.
darkie switched in Pepper Potts (lvl 100 Starmie).
Metagross used Stealth Rock.
Pointed stones float in the air around your foe's team!
---
Hmm.. Metagross. Most Metagross leads nowadays are of the Stealth Rock and explode variety. I'll switch to something "safe" for now.

Quilky Way has entered the room.
Metagross used Pursuit.
It's super effective!
Starmie lost 62% of its health.
darkie switched in Gengar (lvl 100 Gengar ?).
Pointed stones dug into Gengar.
Gengar lost 12% of its health.
---
Oof, expecting an Explosion, I switched to Gengar to (hopefully) start out the game on a positive foot with a fainted Metagross. A good predict by moi, however, ruined my efforts. I was almost ready to give up at this point, but being the stubborn <bleep> I am, I kept on.

moi: nice
moi: solid predict
Junior has entered the room.
Gengar used Shadow Ball.
A critical hit!
Metagross lost 69% of its health.
Metagross used Pursuit.
It's super effective!
Gengar lost 62% of its health.
---
I now knew he was running a set with Pursuit, and with Pursuit, comes Bullet Punch. I stayed in though, predicting a Pursuit, because last turn I fled. I had two choices now that I eliminated the third option of switching: Shadow Ball or Hypnosis. I suspected a Lum Berry, so a Shadow Ball with some nice (albeit somewhat unecessary) hax is the move for me.

Junior: i..
Junior: why
Junior: :(
darkie switched in Jirachi (lvl 100 Jirachi).
Pointed stones dug into Jirachi.
Jirachi lost 6% of its health.
Metagross used Bullet Punch.
It's not very effective...
Jirachi lost 9% of its health.
---
What the hell, Junior? Anyway, again, mixing up my moves I switched against the inevitable Bullet Punch. Jirachi seemed like the most logical switch as he resists Bullet Punch and can KO.

Jirachi used Thunderbolt.
Metagross lost 4% of its health.
moi's Wayff fainted.
---

Although at this point I am winning in numbers, the situation is definitely not in my favor at this point. I know none of the rest of moi's team, while he knows a good majority of mine.

(6-5 darkie)

Wutang has entered the room.
moi switched in Matty (lvl 100 Dugtrio ?).
moi: silly boy
Dugtrio used Earthquake.
It's super effective!
Jirachi lost 73% of its health.
Jirachi used Psychic.
Dugtrio lost 75% of its health.
---
In my displeasure at seeing the trapping 'Trio, I completely didn't notice that he only did about 73%. In my head, I attributed this to Jirachi's bulkiness and Dugtrio's weakness, and it seemed to work out fine...in my head.

moi: what the hell
moi: i swear you were scarfed
moi: oh right
moi: meta is slow
darkie: fucking matty
moi: hahahahaha
Dugtrio used Earthquake.
It's super effective!
Jirachi lost 30% of its health.
darkie's Jirachi fainted.
---
Well this was to be expected. moi's comments were interesting, but I disregarded them because moi is a sneaky, sneaky little fellow. I'm losing even more momentum (of what little I had), with the 'death' of a key member of my team.

(5-5 tied)

Junior: which one
Junior: if its my aamto
Junior: well
Junior: darkie
Junior: darkie
Junior: fuck you!!!
moi: no it's matty
moi: like m4tty
Junior: o sry
Max has entered the room.
Max: darkie
Junior: B)
Max: i challenge you
moi: sup max
Max: to a battle after this
darkie switched in Scizor (lvl 100 Scizor ?).
Pointed stones dug into Scizor.
Scizor lost 12% of its health.
moi: one sec i'm beating him
moi: :(
Max: =)
Max has left the room.
moi switched in darkie (lvl 100 Salamence ?).
Salamence's intimidate cut Scizor's attack!
Scizor used U-turn.
It's not very effective...
Salamence lost 10% of its health.
Junior: im the best in this room
darkie switched in Pepper Potts (lvl 100 Starmie).
Pointed stones dug into Starmie.
Starmie lost 12% of its health.
darkie's leftovers restored its health a little!
darkie restored 6% of its health.
---
A 'nice' audience growing now. I knew moi wouldn't keep his weakened Dugtrio on Scizor with the threat of Quick Attack, so I simply U-turned to scout. An interesting switch to Salamence leads me to use my free turn to bring in Starmie. It should be basically a free KO, right?

(In any case, don't listen to Junior.)

Junior: soo great
Starmie used Ice Beam.
It's super effective!
Salamence lost 93% of its health.
Salamence used Draco Meteor.
Starmie lost 32% of its health.
darkie's Pepper Potts fainted.
Salamence's special attack was harshly lowered.
---
It was at this point that I noticed that he named his Salamence after me, (which by the way kind of screwed up the warmachine formatting).

(4-5 moi)


moi: honestly darkie you're p. useful
darkie: oh
darkie: it's me
Wutang: im the best here
darkie: how many sp def evs do i have??
Junior: nope
Junior: its me
Junior: <---------
moi: a shit load
Junior: janiar
Wutang: you cant wutang like me
darkie switched in Scizor (lvl 100 Scizor ?).
Pointed stones dug into Scizor.
Scizor lost 12% of its health.
Junior: fuck wutang and your wutangs
Wutang: fuck junior
moi switched in Jackal (lvl 100 Heatran ?).
Scizor used U-turn.
It's not very effective...
Heatran lost 9% of its health.
Wutang: more importantly, fuck moi
darkie switched in "Yeah, I can fly!" (lvl 100 Salamence ?).
Salamence's intimidate cut Heatran's attack!
Pointed stones dug into Salamence.
Salamence lost 25% of its health.

---
With moi's Salamence at about 12% HP right now, I sent out Scizor to A) KO Salamence and B) get a free switch. I knew Scizor's U-turn would KO the VERY weak Salamence due to how much damage it did the first time, 10% with Intimidate factored in. Without Intimidate I KO. moi realized this as well, switching from the threat. My own Salamence carried Earthquake, as do most, so I hoped to scare off Heatran.

moi: ...
moi: wutang who are you
moi: also fuck i got rid of dragon pulse
Wutang: im wutang
moi: god damnit i regret my decision
darkie: woo!
Heatran used Explosion.
Salamence lost 57% of its health.
moi's Jackal fainted.
Salamence used Dragon Dance.
Salamence's attack was raised.
Salamence's speed was raised.
---
Not heeding to moi's words, I adamantly (actually Jollily ;d) Dragon Danced up, knowing that I could survive and then KO with Earthquake. At this point, I thought the momentum was coming back to me.

(4-4 tied)

darkie: WOO
moi switched in Matty (lvl 100 Dugtrio ?).
moi: ugg fuck
moi: gg
darkie: ugh
moi: :(
darkie: annoying matty
Dugtrio used Stone Edge.
It's super effective!
Salamence lost 25% of its health.
darkie's "Yeah, I can fly!" fainted.
---
Hmm, he seems to be ceded 'gg' to me. I'm not exactly in great shape, so I'll Roost up for some health. Stone Edge shouldn't KO while I'm Roosting, and Roost also stops Sucker Punch; it seems like the perfect move!

Unfortunately, momentum goes quickly back to moi as he brings out his Scarfed Stone Edge mattytrio. Notice how matty uses sneakily uses the chat to lure me into a sense of security. Stupidly, I fell for it this time, and paid a heavy cost.

(3-4 moi)

moi: scarf matty
moi: :)
darkie: damn it
darkie: i thought you would sucker punch
moi: noppers
darkie: so i roosted
moi: scarf matty
darkie switched in Iron Man (lvl 100 Lucario ?).
Pointed stones dug into Lucario.
Lucario lost 3% of its health.
moi switched in darkie (lvl 100 Salamence ?).
darkie's intimidate cut Iron Man's attack!
Lucario used Swords Dance.
Lucario's attack was sharply raised.
darkie's leftovers restored its health a little!
darkie restored 6% of its health.
---
Now knowing that moi's Dugtrio is scarfed, I sent in my Lucario, with a handy 4x resistance to Rock. Swords Dance is the ideal move in this situation, as even if he stays into attack, I have that Lucario's excellent resistances to fall back upon.

Lucario used Extremespeed.
darkie lost 16% of its health.
moi's darkie fainted.
Lucario lost 10% of its health.
---
Extremespeed as opposed to Crunch or Close Combat just in case his Salamence is EVed to outspeed Lucario. I get the KO and get momentum some away from moi.

(3-3 tied)

moi switched in Twist of Fate (lvl 100 Starmie).
moi switched in Matty (lvl 100 Dugtrio ?).
Lucario used Extremespeed.
Dugtrio lost 25% of its health.
moi's Matty fainted.
Lucario lost 10% of its health.
---
Finally, I can KO one of moi's team members and have the momentum back. It seems nothing can stop Lucario now! Well, if that were true, this warstory would not be a very good warstory.

(3-2 darkie)

Wutang: lol twist of fate
moi: uggg shit
moi: i don't know how much this does
moi: aaah
moi switched in JabbaTheGriffin (lvl 100 Infernape ?).
Wutang: i hear he's good
moi: do you ko me
darkie: i believe so
darkie: i hope you don't have mach punch!
Infernape used Mach Punch.
It's super effective!
Lucario lost 64% of its health.
Lucario used Extremespeed.
Infernape lost 79% of its health.
Lucario lost 10% of its health.
---
Forgetting that I only had a +1 boost thanks to Intimidate, I went on the offense, hoping to snag a quick KO. Of course, moi psyches me out again, but fortunately for me, Infernape's relatively weak offenses combined with a low BP move don't quite cut it for moi.

moi: well uh
moi: i do
darkie: lol
darkie: suspected that
darkie switched in Gengar (lvl 100 Gengar ?).
Pointed stones dug into Gengar.
Gengar lost 12% of its health.
Infernape used Thunderpunch.
Gengar lost 13% of its health.
darkie's Gengar fainted.
---
You could say this was a stupid move on my part. I attempted a 'free' switch to Gengar, hoping moi wouldn't realize. Of course, young moi is a step ahead of me, landing a nice (at least for him) KO to tie up the game again.

(2-2 tied)

darkie switched in Scizor (lvl 100 Scizor ?).
Pointed stones dug into Scizor.
Scizor lost 12% of its health.
moi: bad move
darkie switched in Iron Man (lvl 100 Lucario ?).
Pointed stones dug into Lucario.
Lucario lost 3% of its health.
darkie's Iron Man fainted.
Infernape used Mach Punch.
But there was no target!
---
That was probably a bad move. I misjudged Lucario's HP. A lot. Even so, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can still win this.

(1-2)

darkie switched in Scizor (lvl 100 Scizor ?).
Pointed stones dug into Scizor.
Scizor lost 12% of its health.
darkie: ugh
darkie: that was gay
moi: fun game darkie
moi: :)
moi: if you used aa you lost anyways
darkie: wth
darkie: no
moi: well either way you lose lol
darkie: what kind of starmie was it
moi: i was about to mach punch
moi: which drops you down
darkie: it wouldn't ko
moi: counterstar
darkie: oh
moi: so i use surf
moi: and survive
moi: your uturn
moi: lol
darkie: what do you mean drops me down
Infernape used Mach Punch.
Scizor lost 23% of its health.
Scizor used U-turn.
It's not very effective...
Infernape lost 21% of its health.
moi's JabbaTheGriffin fainted.
---

At first, I was very surprised Infernape went down to a U-turn, but in retrospect, a mistake I made in the team-building helped me a lot here. (I mistakenly had Swarm over Technician). Mach Punch going first was a big help in KOing that naughty little Infernape.

(1-1 tied)

moi: your hp
moi: to like there
moi switched in Twist of Fate (lvl 100 Starmie).
Scizor used U-turn.
It's super effective!
Starmie lost 100% of its health.
moi's Twist of Fate fainted.
darkie wins!

That Swarm error also helped me here! Cocky moi, believing his Starmie superior, thought he could survive a U-turn. I kind of started to believe him at this point, but I hoped for the best. Fun game, moi.

Junior: scarfscizor
Junior: xD;;;;;
moi: oh wow
Junior has left the room.
moi: you actually do ko
moi: hahahahahaha
darkie: yes
darkie: that was the plan!
Wutang: you fai
Wutang: fail
Wutang: noob moi
Wutang: how can you kill twist of fate...
darkie: you think it's warstoryable?
darkie: it came down to the wire
moi: possibly
moi: and it was good prediction
moi: i made a lot of good moves
moi: at the start of the match
moi: like pursuiting starmie

This log was formatted using Warmachine Version 1.0 (An excellent tool!)

Props:
~Scarfed Scizor
~A "mistake" with Scizor's ability

Slops:
~Showing too much of my team at the beginning.

~Forgetting about Intimidate affecting Lucario.
~Falling victim to moi's way with words.


Note2: I kept most of the chat, because I thought it was funny and kind of important to the story. If it's a problem, I can remove it easily.

moi's team:
 

SoT

I leave and they change my avatar to this?
is a Top Team Rater Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a CAP Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
That's an epic name


*credit to shadowsabre cough*

ahha anyway that was a great battle, moi got a little cocky at the end, or so it seemed. Even I thought he had it won though....so I guess he had a decent reason to be. =)
 

tennisace

not quite too old for this, apparently
is a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Top Social Media Contributor Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Researcher Alumnusis a Top CAP Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis an Administrator Alumnus
Moi and Darkie going Mano e Nerdo. Excellent battle, I remember you telling me how Scarf Scizor saved your ass ;)

I still think this should have been named Moi vs Moi.
 
I'm sort of disappointed in moi for not having a Jyranitar on his team, but this was a good match nonetheless.
 

matty

I did stuff a long time ago for the site
is a Tournament Director Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
I'm a Dugtrio...
...
/wrists

lol, awesome title

moi: meta is slow
darkie: fucking matty
moi: hahahahaha

darkie: annoying matty

PS Janiar is stupid :P
 

Stallion

Tree Young
is a Tiering Contributoris a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnusis a Three-Time Past WCoP Champion
Haha I haven't even read the story yet (I'll edit my comments when I do) but your title made me lol so hard, I couldn't resist coming into the thread.

Stupid janiar <3

EDIT: Great match and an epic ending, way to ruin it for me though on shoddy :P. Also is that Jolly ScarfScizor?
 
i love how he had to say young moi at the start

and how he almost beat himself

alas my mind games did nothing
 

Jimbo

take me anywhere
is a Top Tutor Alumnusis a Tournament Director Alumnusis a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Senior Staff Member Alumnusis a Top Contributor Alumnusis a Top Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
This was really entertaining! Very nicely written too, great job. The mistake was funny too.
 
Lol this warstory was actually good, but my comments made me look like a moron lol...luckily Junior was there to even beat my stupidity! Yay junior!
 

Colonel M

I COULD BE BORED!
is a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Community Leader Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Discord Contributor Alumnusis a Top Contributor Alumnus
Good read. It seems that moi had you at some points but you recovered and overcame the obstacle. Great suspense too (and obviously funny comments).
 
I agree with venom, especially since me and him have put a stop to mois antics more than enough. Anyway this was a pretty cool battle but im glad the hero came out on top.
 

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