Moves That Would Make Life More Interesting

By Valmanway. Art by Bummer.
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Introduction

You see moves in literally every single Pokémon battle, and of course you use them to win the battle. But when one looks deeper into the moves, one starts to think how they would work in real life. I don't mean using them to destroy or conquer the world, I mean just the simple things in life. This list is also assuming that a person is using the moves, not a Pokémon with them. Well then, let's get down to the top 5 moves that would make life more interesting.

Pay Day

How could I make this list and not have Pay Day on it? It just sounds so convenient that it isn't even funny. If you want a soda from the vending machine but have no change, just use Pay Day and quench that thirst of yours. If you want to be the most popular guy at school or college, just give handouts with Pay Day, and you'll be all the rage. Do you need to find an easier time getting to places? How about a car that gets amazing mileage, like a Chevrolet? Oh wait, we have endless gas money, so how about we forget mileage and go for style? With that said, that Ferrari's looking pretty good right now. Or maybe you want a fancy night with that special someone, so perhaps you can rent a limousine for the night. Afraid that someone's going to try to steal some of your money? Just hire a bodyguard to keep the trouble makers away when you're out, and have an up-to-date security system for your house, such as security cameras, infrared trip alarms, and reinforced steel bars. You name it, and people will install it. But the problem with Pay Day is that the money comes in pennies, making travel from place to place very difficult indeed. Hope you have a really big piggy bank handy for the trip to the bank!

Mind Reader

Have you ever wanted to know if your crush likes you back? Ever wanted to cheat on a test and not get caught? or even win in video games? I know I sure have. Then let me introduce you to Mind Reader! Mind Reader would make life so much more interesting, as you can literally read someone's mind and know what they're thinking. Now you can not only find out if your crush likes you back, but you can also find out if they actually know you exist! Now you can copy the answers in that really tough math test from that nerdy kid that always gets A's, so you can spend more time watching your favorite show or hang out with friends in your free time instead of studying. Speaking of friends, when you play video games with them, you can read their minds to know what they're going to do. Chess becomes much easier, as you'll know what move they don't want you to make. Pokémon becomes easier, since you can counter team your opponent and predict their every move to set up on their switch, or KO the switch-in entirely. In addition, Mind Reader is also great for pranks, such as finding out your friend's phone password and changing their background picture or their ringtone. Just imagine the hilarity that will ensue when you call their phone and start hearing Barney, or when they open their phone and they find that embarrassing picture from that Christmas party set as their background. Hahaha, Merry Christmas!

Telekinesis

You're in your room watching TV, and you're a complete couch potato. Your rear end is firmly planted into the couch, and you don't want to disturb the harmony between the two. Suddenly, your stomach grumbles, and you suddenly feel the urge to get the bag of chips on the table in front of you. But as everyone who has been a lazy bum would know, it's too far away to reach without getting up, and you don't want to commit the couch potato's sin of having to get up and reach the food with effort. So what do you do? Just use Telekinesis and you'll be able to grab those chips, even if they were on the other side of the room, so your laziness now knows no bounds! Need the salt when you go out to lunch with a friend? Don't ask for your friend to give it to you, just use Telekinesis to grab it yourself! How about when you're carrying your backpack and your shoulders start hurting because the straps are digging into them? Just use Telekinesis to carry it around, and cut your back some slack! Need to grab your ringing phone but can't get it? You know what to do! The only drawback to using Telekinesis is that prolonged use leaves you with a killer migraine, so proceed with caution. And don't just grab the aspirin with Telekinesis either, you lazy bum.

Teleport

The concept of teleportation has been one that man has theorized about for many a year, as its uses would be virtually limitless. Cars, planes, and boats would be obsolete travelling methods, and thus we could preserve oil for more important things, like heating and powering electric plants. We can avoid traffic causing us to be late for school or work, thus avoiding a lecture from your teacher, getting yelled at, or even fired by your boss. It's also a great way to end an argument on the spot if you're fed up arguing with someone, as you can just escape the nagging and save yourself from having to take an aspirin. You can even Teleport objects, so you can bring your suitcases, your car, even other people, so using Teleport is even great for family vacations. Have you ever wanted to visit exotic and foreign places, but don't have the money or the time to visit them? Well now that issue is over, as you can visit any place on the planet; whether it's Tokyo, Jamaica, Phoenix, or even Antarctica, Teleport can make anywhere a vacation spot. Though the problem with Teleport is that you have to visit an area at least once to actually Teleport there, so travel does have its cost the first time you visit a place. But if your wallet can take a hit, then any time after that it is always worth the trip.

Rest

We've all had some long days, whether it was getting yelled at on the phone in the office by customers, running around and getting tackled when playing football, or driving around all day with the kids crying because they didn't go to McDonalds, and sometimes you just want to jump into bed and hibernate for a week to take a break from it all. If this is you, then Rest is the move for you! With Rest, you can take a nap for only two hours, and feel like you gotten a full night's sleep, which will definitely help out during the day. If you have a long trip ahead, then Rest is the move for you, whether it's anything between a long car trip or a plane flight, Rest will make a boring trip somewhere fly by in the blink of an eye. Sadly, you can't be forced to wake up any earlier than two hours after using Rest, making it painfully easy for someone to pull a prank on you, such as drawing marker mustaches on your face, covering your doorway with plastic wrap, or even going the extra mile and rearranging the room's furniture so you keep bumping into everything. Rest can certainly help out with a hectic schedule, but just make sure that your friends aren't the type of people to prank someone in their sleep.

Conclusion

It's always fun to talk about how moves would work in real life, and it's even more fun to theorize how we could use them differently from how they're used in-game. Some moves would have flaws to them that could get in the way at times, but it's still fun to think about what life would be like if we had them.

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