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- Thread starter dhelmise
- Start date
posts wiped, please drop that discussion ty
I'm a political science student and I'm extremely worried about the future 1-2 years from now and what it'll mean for many of us. If you're not aware already there's a lot of pressure building for a Conservative blowout in Canada at a time where there were massive demos across the country against LGBTQIA2S rights, the likely government-to-be is currently complaining that "parents' rights" (to abuse queer kids) aren't being respected. There's been a total collapse of political support for any sort of progressive party and it largely has to do with the support of American groups and media across the border. Moreover, basically every province in the country is run by a conservative government, meaning that we're going to see further autocratic attempts to shore up their power. We're very likely to see the overturning of a bunch of things, including attempts to rewrite 20 years of jurisprudence recognising queer rights in the Charter.
But what really fucking bothers me is how many "allies" across the political spectrum are abandoning us over shit like foreign policy and "the economy" (it's never actually about the economy). I've been doing Palestine marches for a decade now and never would we have accepted homophobes marching with outright fascists before. Now it seems a lot of the terminally online communists in my area that would post (and nothing else) about "punching racists" and fighting homophobia don't seem to have a problem now because they feel they can recruit fundamentalists to fund their projects. Seems like the US is catching up to the curve with the "AbandonBiden" campaign run by "Muslim leaders across America" (read: 3 guys from Minnesota) and only supported by the campaign of a notoriously broke deadbeat that hasn't been relevant in 2 decades (read: Cornel West). Doesn't even stop with queer rights, there's the whole other social issue of medical assistance in dying (MAID) that Christian fundamentalists have spun as "euthanising the poor" and the stupidest "progressives" around eat it up. I don't think I should have expected better from the straights who thought listening to podcasts and posting really hard on social media would accomplish anything, but holy shit is the left ever a joke on civil rights.
But what really fucking bothers me is how many "allies" across the political spectrum are abandoning us over shit like foreign policy and "the economy" (it's never actually about the economy). I've been doing Palestine marches for a decade now and never would we have accepted homophobes marching with outright fascists before. Now it seems a lot of the terminally online communists in my area that would post (and nothing else) about "punching racists" and fighting homophobia don't seem to have a problem now because they feel they can recruit fundamentalists to fund their projects. Seems like the US is catching up to the curve with the "AbandonBiden" campaign run by "Muslim leaders across America" (read: 3 guys from Minnesota) and only supported by the campaign of a notoriously broke deadbeat that hasn't been relevant in 2 decades (read: Cornel West). Doesn't even stop with queer rights, there's the whole other social issue of medical assistance in dying (MAID) that Christian fundamentalists have spun as "euthanising the poor" and the stupidest "progressives" around eat it up. I don't think I should have expected better from the straights who thought listening to podcasts and posting really hard on social media would accomplish anything, but holy shit is the left ever a joke on civil rights.
An unfortunate number of "terminally online communists" have utterly no interest in progressivism as a broader social concept and only care about it through the lens of economics. They'll ostensibly support LGBTQ+ rights because it costs them nothing to do so and everything not to, but make no mistake, they'll happily sell us out if they think it'll bring them closer to whatever Stalinist dystopia they want to build. Their entire ideology boils down to "wouldn't it be nice if we did a socialism so I could stay home and play video games and smoke weed all day". I mean. don't get me wrong, I'm 100% on board for that, but I also believe (or rather accept) the fact that economic issues and social issues are inseparably intertwined, and that's precisely why I don't trust anyone who's willing to sacrifice positions on one in favor of the other. You will never get your luxury space communism without the gay part.
A lot of people are also honestly just radlibs who say vaguely progressive shit for social clout and then immediately fall back to their much more firmly held neoliberal positions when challenged in any way or in the face of any hardship that directly affects them. These people weren't progressives to begin with and generally have little to no understanding of sociopolitics, but there's little to no overlap between them and the terminally online communist demographic you described so maybe that's more of an American thing, I dunno.
A lot of people are also honestly just radlibs who say vaguely progressive shit for social clout and then immediately fall back to their much more firmly held neoliberal positions when challenged in any way or in the face of any hardship that directly affects them. These people weren't progressives to begin with and generally have little to no understanding of sociopolitics, but there's little to no overlap between them and the terminally online communist demographic you described so maybe that's more of an American thing, I dunno.
I think this is really missing the point of what I'm saying here. It doesn't cost them anything to not support queer rights, because this is happening right now with absolutely no consequence. It's not a question about economics (but yes, there are people willing to sell out civil rights in the name of appeal to the "white working class"), with the case of my local protests it's a question about geopolitics. It's not why they're willing to sell us out that's important but the fact they're willing to do so in the first place. Do we matter so little that people will throw away their supposed values because they want more people in a performative march? I think so. This doesn't really have much to do with accomplishing their actual goals either, it's literally just that there's a hierarchy of value for various performances that don't really matter to anyone beyond their participants.
I honestly despise the whole "radlib" discourse because "radlib" doesn't really coherently describe any actual political position so much as be used for a broad range of positions contesting the positions of terminally online communists. It's a product of the same podcasting scene that produced them, no different from branding them "revisionists" or "anarchists," then "ultra" became really popular online at one point.
But like, this is clearly happening in the States too with the rights of others as well. I remember recently someone sickeningly tried saying that they're not going to back the only opposition to the Republicans as a "gamble" for Palestinians' rights, as if they had the right to gamble with Palestinians' or anyone else's rights in the first place. It couldn't be more clear that we and others don't fucking matter to them in the slightest. But what does it say when we don't push back either? Have we grown so complacent, take our rights for granted so much that our responses to political homophobia are so anemic?
Interesting. Maybe I’m just not thinking about it right but I see taking T as accepting my masculinity in an uncomfortable way. And as far as I can tell I’m not feeling any major effects from having low T. So I don’t think I will want to get injections.
There is a possibility that you don't directly recognize these effects, having low T in most cases has pretty bad consequences for people, such as having very low energy and losing your breath very fast
I wouldn't recommend T injections even if you weren't transfem, they can have rather miserable side effects on your cardiovascular system. Proper sleep hygiene, physical exercise and losing body fat should get your T to a healthy level. I know quite a lot about nutrition and exercise, you can dm me if you want advice on that.
I've never heard of someone coming to a healthy T level from a low level and becoming more masculine from it, if you have masculine features, they should be unaffected through this. Why that is compared to T injections, no idea, I guess because these hormone levels are creeping up slowly to a healthy level instead of spiking up through the injections?
If you have the possibility to speak with a doctor that has experience with trans patients, I would recommend that very much, albeit I suppose that may be difficult to find. Low T levels can have a rather strong, negative effect on people, getting to a healthy level in a moderate way shouldn't hold you off from embracing your feminimity. Olympic female athletes have massively high T levels and most look feminime, olympic male athletes have even more T and most of them don't look super duper masculine either
sorry for derailing the thread, I just met quite a lot of people with low T who had some rather notable issues with it and I know a thing or two about it
btw I made the realization that I am bisexual but I don't know if I can find myself in the LGBT community? Idk, I just haven't been discriminated due to my sexual orientation, all the discrimination I experienced was due to me being brown and for mental health. I've been as an ally on pride events during my teens, I don't know if I should attend such events as a bi person. It just feel like me appropriating a label in a way
that's what the B stands for!!
I think they mean they feel that it would be inappropriate to label themselves bi at a pride event because they don't feel as though they've faced discrimination on the basis of their bisexuality.
This is something I actually understand as I felt (and still do feel) similarly as an aro/ace person. That said, I think everyone experiences and understands their sexuality differently, so I don't think feeling as though you lack some of the experiences other bisexual people might have experienced should disqualify you from participating in LGBTQ+ events. You're still just as valid as any other bisexual person. Just do your best to listen to and understand the perspectives of people who have faced those hardships.
if youve come to the conclusion are bi you are bi, no strings attached. the label is for bi people, not necessarily oppressed bi people
the lgbtq+ community should strive to fight oppression, but there shouldn't be a "you must be this oppressed to join" sign anywhere, as long as you're bi and you're eager to fight biphobia and lgbtq+phobia in general you're more than welcome to go to pride as a bi person, imo
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i think defining entrance into the lgbt community, especially wrt things like pride, based on Who Gets Discriminated Against The Most is just really bad practice. you're bi, you have a place at pride, and you deserve to go and be whoever you want to be. yes, pride is a riot against systemic oppression, but it's also a celebration of everything beautiful that we are and can be. go be beautifully bi if you want to! have fun! there is a lot of struggle, oppression, discrimination, and suffering in queer lives and experiences but there's a lot of joy too and its important that we don't lose that, especially nowadays. the only people in your shoes so to speak that ever tend to get on my nerves are those who arent self-aware of the different types of discrimination they face vs., say, a trans woman, etc. etc., so you're already ahead of the curve there! if you're bi you're bi and you deserve to be that and celebrate that however works for you
Hi. I was wondering if the discord linked in the first post of this thread is still active. I put my info in the join form a few days ago and nothing has happened since then. Thanks
This is something that I feel extremely strongly to be relatable. As I've said before, the last year is the one where I have truly cracked an egg. I am definitely somewhat non-binary, but definitely also transfem, but I tend to try to not go by it in a lot of areas. Because it feels "unsafe", in a way. Loss aversion is a perfect descriptor. With internalized transphobia and just generally being a person who doubts myself a lot, it's hard to feel like I am correct in going by she/her, and ESPECIALLY not in places I know I will have a voice call in.
This isn't to say we have the exact same path, experience, or identity or anything to be clear; I just hope it gives some solace that there are others who also experience something like this, and you are super valid.
You know it’s funny. I fully feel like I could come out as NB to my parents and peers at this point and (aside from some bumfuck idiots in my locale) I feel I would be accepted. It’s just a matter of eventually I’m pretty sure I’ll have to come out as transfem as well and that does not sound like a good proposition.
Even if I am confident in taking a step forward in accepting my identity I’m still scared because it is tangentially related to taking a much bigger step and that thought scares me so I do nothing and feel worse as a result
oh my god, the liberals turned the dogs gay.
fr though, you should never have to think that you have to suffer to be a part of a community. we accept you as you are.
for self defense purposes. unless I missed something latest gay agenda update, in which case, scratch that (and someone please put me on the mailing list, i came out like a decade ago and no one sends me the emails)
look up local laws and stuff as well. in canada its actually illegal to carry anything for the purpose of being a weapon, regardless of intent for self defence, and while it's different everywhere around the world, escalating the situation is always kind of a gamble at the best of times. also no reason to give the cops another reason to give you further problems, cops famously love queer people and always give them the benefit of the doubt. look into options like personal safety alarms or safety whistles as go-to responses. bear, coyote, or dog spray are also worth checking out if you live in areas where those kinds of wild animals are potential issues.
anyways running away is based. put your safety first. no one wins in a knife fight anyways
look up local laws and stuff as well. in canada its actually illegal to carry anything for the purpose of being a weapon, regardless of intent for self defence, and while it's different everywhere around the world, escalating the situation is always kind of a gamble at the best of times. also no reason to give the cops another reason to give you further problems, cops famously love queer people and always give them the benefit of the doubt. look into options like personal safety alarms or safety whistles as go-to responses. bear, coyote, or dog spray are also worth checking out if you live in areas where those kinds of wild animals are potential issues.
anyways running away is based. put your safety first. no one wins in a knife fight anyways
As you mentioned, bear spray is a good option for places with laws like this on the books. If anyone ever asks, you're concerned about bears and nothing else. A thick leather belt also makes a pretty effective self-defense tool in a pinch, and it's unlikely anyone will give you trouble for wearing a belt.
these r all rly great suggestions of active steps ppl can take to be better prepared to defend themselves in the event of a physical altercation - i carry pepper spray regularly, not just because I'm queer but mainly because I'm a woman - but i also think there's a lot of value in pointing out the many passive steps and behavioral changes that can help to avoid physical altercations altogether. I'm always surprised when i talk to younger queers and they don't already have a basic awareness of the great many small tips and tricks for women's self defense that could really save them a lot of trouble. the unfortunate reality is that this is a violent and sometimes hateful world, especially for women, queer people, and people of color, and the more of those you are, the more danger you're in.
don't walk alone at night if you can avoid it, especially in busy, urban areas, and if you can't avoid it, tell a trusted friend where you are going, when, and ask them to check up with you to make sure you got there safely. When you're out shopping or somewhere you've driven to, especially at night, try to park closer to the entrance, or near a security camera. when walking through parking lots or garages, or anywhere you may feel in danger, if you don't have a weapon available a car key can theoretically suffice, but be sure to aim for soft spots - there's one obvious one that works generally quite well - to avoid simply breaking your own hand. always lock your car, and also check the back seats of your car before you get in. be aware of strangers - especially of men - who may be following you or watching you a little too closely, and know where your exits are so that you can calmly make an escape if it is needed. Worried someone might be following you in a car? If you take four right turns in a row and they're still behind you, then you know they are. Worried someone might be following you on foot? Try to find a person or group of people who you would be safe with, and subtly and calmly indicate what is going on, or if that's not possible, you can always fake a phone call (or actually call a friend) so that the would-be assailant feels a little less unwitnessed. on the street, especially at night, never be afraid to cross to the other side to avoid walking past or through a group that might give you trouble, or an individual who seems suspicious. in a bar or other loud, crowded, indoor environment, watch your drink, and if you've gone alone, think about carrying an SOS note (an "angel drink") to pass to a bartender or other trustworthy stranger if you feel you might be in trouble. in general, especially for women, you're better off trusting other women when it comes to strangers - its an unfortunate reality of life, but most women will also know what to do if you need help. This may all seem like a lot to learn, remember, and do, but that's kind of my point - there's so much that you can do to avoid ever getting into trouble at all, before we need to start thinking about what weapons to have in the event of a fight, and after a while of doing these things actively, it sort of becomes like muscle memory anyway! You grow a dangersense with time.
stay safe out there! as said before, nobody wins in a knife fight.
don't walk alone at night if you can avoid it, especially in busy, urban areas, and if you can't avoid it, tell a trusted friend where you are going, when, and ask them to check up with you to make sure you got there safely. When you're out shopping or somewhere you've driven to, especially at night, try to park closer to the entrance, or near a security camera. when walking through parking lots or garages, or anywhere you may feel in danger, if you don't have a weapon available a car key can theoretically suffice, but be sure to aim for soft spots - there's one obvious one that works generally quite well - to avoid simply breaking your own hand. always lock your car, and also check the back seats of your car before you get in. be aware of strangers - especially of men - who may be following you or watching you a little too closely, and know where your exits are so that you can calmly make an escape if it is needed. Worried someone might be following you in a car? If you take four right turns in a row and they're still behind you, then you know they are. Worried someone might be following you on foot? Try to find a person or group of people who you would be safe with, and subtly and calmly indicate what is going on, or if that's not possible, you can always fake a phone call (or actually call a friend) so that the would-be assailant feels a little less unwitnessed. on the street, especially at night, never be afraid to cross to the other side to avoid walking past or through a group that might give you trouble, or an individual who seems suspicious. in a bar or other loud, crowded, indoor environment, watch your drink, and if you've gone alone, think about carrying an SOS note (an "angel drink") to pass to a bartender or other trustworthy stranger if you feel you might be in trouble. in general, especially for women, you're better off trusting other women when it comes to strangers - its an unfortunate reality of life, but most women will also know what to do if you need help. This may all seem like a lot to learn, remember, and do, but that's kind of my point - there's so much that you can do to avoid ever getting into trouble at all, before we need to start thinking about what weapons to have in the event of a fight, and after a while of doing these things actively, it sort of becomes like muscle memory anyway! You grow a dangersense with time.
stay safe out there! as said before, nobody wins in a knife fight.
This is an incredibly stupid post. You are going to get someone killed with this “advice”
There's a lot. The paintball gun stuff is part of it, but then you say stuff like...
This is fucking terrible advice especially if you're alone and don't have any training on how to restrain someone. For one thing, how long are you restraining them for? Until someone happens to come by, calls the police, and they get there? Until the person who was just going to assault you on the street calms down? Do you know for a fact he doesn't have a buddy around who's going to come along and fuck you up while you're on the ground restraining this person?
Another problem is that most people who say shit like this dramatically overestimate their own physical abilities, which is going to get you hurt. Never, ever assume that you can physically overpower someone. You don't know how strong they are, and you don't know that they aren't concealing a weapon.
This is just bad advice in general, and is liable to get you arrested or just outright shot in a lot of places. Don't carry anything because it looks like a gun, in fact I'd say that's a pretty strong reason not to carry it in most circumstances.
This honestly reads like a child who watched Home Alone one too many times and now fantasizes about how they'd kill burglars with their paintball gun. Like I said in my other post, don't use a paintball gun for self-defense. Pepper ball guns are different (and have their own problems; I don't personally recommend them), but trying to fend of an attacker with a regular paintball gun is categorically worse than just trying to get away.
I read your original post before it was deleted and it would actually get someone killed. Frankly I’m baffled that you outright admitted you have never been in a fight and still thought that was a good idea. Your post was ridiculously irresponsible and if you’d posted that on a forum I ran I would ban you for trying to get people killed.
As someone who has actually punched her fair share of Nazis and nearly been killed for it, don’t get in fights as an untrained combatant (or really, at all), don’t brandish real or fake weapons (carry pepper spray and actually practice using it, don’t just assume you know how because it’s simple), and run the fuck away/seek help rather than fight. Carrying a gun for self-defense out on the streets is absurd and not practical, and brandishing one escalates situations, not deescalates. I say that as a big time advocate of arming queer people. Robyn’s advice is good, everything you wrote is LARP at best and a “get murdered” speedrun at worst. Don’t speak on what you don’t know.
because someone still might take my advice, as it is viewable by others responces, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS ADVICE!!! i tried to help with some ideas i had of how to survive a fight, but that was all they were. while i did say that they were hypotheticals, i did not do enough to make it clear that i had no experience in this department. furthermore, i posted these tips without critically thinking about them. some of them i litterally came up with on the spot. it was irrisponsible of me to do this, and i apologise for my shortsightedness.
Something else: if possible, make sure your pepper spray is visible at all times. It does you no good if it's in your pocket or purse, as it can take too long to grab. I carry it in my hand when walking and make sure everyone can see it. As a result, even though I'm a trans woman, nobody bothers me.