JohnMaster: internet/pinkmoth
Players: scrake, GeneralSpoon, Martin, Oddish.
Most people only have one voice in their head. We have four voices in our head. I am GeneralSpoon; the others are scrake, Martin and Oddish. Our life got flipped, turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there. I'll tell you how we became an inmate in this mental asylum. Our name is John.
Our day started where it always started; in our bedroom in our apartment. GeneralSpoon, that is to say, me, expended a great deal of effort in gaining control of our body. The doorbell was ringing, so we grabbed our bathrobe, and promptly fell down the stairs. scrake took control, and saw children running away when we answered the door. Grabbing a cooking knife from the kitchen, we chased them, tripped and stabbed ourselves.
Oddish took control then. As we lay bleeding, we got the attention of a bystander, who came over to inspect us. We struck then, stabbing her in the leg. She fell, and we finished her off by cutting her throat. Satisfied in our accomplishment, Oddish lost control.
I took control again. Dragging us back into our apartment, we grabbed our wallet and phone, then called 911. We reported that we had been stabbed, and killed our attacker in self-defense. The next bit is hazy, but eventually, we woke up in the hospital, in a hospital bed. There were three other patients in the room, and a police officer. Luckily for us, Oddish took control, and easily convinced the officer that we were acting in self-defense. Buying this story, he left us be.
Martin took control then. It was around this time that I remembered that we had forgotten our passport at home. We used our phone to begin to watch the pile of trash known as Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. After applying a Herculean effort, and putting the movie on x3 speed, we watched the entire movie, despite our bladder's protests. We then promptly wet ourselves on the way to the bathroom. Martin managed to retain control though, and after cleaning ourselves up, began to watch Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones.
He quickly lost control to scrake though. We began to read a popular science magazine upside down. After absorbing its information, we attempted to draw a picture on another patient. Unable to draw it over his struggles, we attracted the attention of a nurse. She told us to knock it off. Oddish gained control, and we attempted to convince the nurse that the other patient started it. The nurse was not convinced, and then I assumed control.
We lined up an Uber to take us home. We had a conversation with the driver about how terrible Star Wars Episode I is, as well as my knowledge of the Japanese language. Once home, I remembered that our passport and clothes were upstairs. We attempted to go upstairs, but failed. Oddish took control again, immediately working towards her goals.
We went over to talk to our neighbor, Jimbob McGee. We brought the conversation around to pies, at which point Jimbob mentioned that he preferred savory pies over sweet pies. We mentioned that we had a pie in our apartment that we would like to share, and successfully convinced him to come over.
He came over, and when he asked where the pie was, we attacked him with a knife. Our stroke was off though, Jimbob's rolls of fat protecting his vitals from damage. As Jimbob ran away, our control of John switched rapidly. Oddish lost control, and I don't remember who took control next. What I do remember is that we realized that we all agreed that we should flee the country to Japan. Whoever had control failed to climb the stairs, and scrake took control.
We successfully built a grappling hook and climbed the stairs with it. We then attempted to draw schematics for a very low budget Ironman suit. Failing this, I took control once more. We put on our clothes, grabbed our passport, and promptly fell down the stairs.
Oddish took control again. We arranged for an Uber to take us to the airport. She decided that we would take a nap, as there was a lot of traffic on our way to the airport. At the airport I took control, and attempted to alter our passport, as it seemed likely that our passport would send up a red flag after our murder attempt of Jimbob. Despite my skill at this, we failed, messing up our passport.
Oddish took control again. We contacted an Uber, with the intent for it to drive us to Japan. We don't remember much after that other than convincing the driver that it was a good idea. We lose our memories after that, and the next thing we remember is being in a cell in a police station. We can only assume that we utterly failed in our masquerade as a normal human being, and that the driver took us there. From there, we went through a trial, and eventually ended up in this mental asylum.
All we can do is compare how successful we were at our goals while we had freedom. Martin wasn't able to get us to watch Star Wars Episodes I-VI. I failed to get us to visit Japan. scrake failed to get us to build a low-budget Ironman suit. Oddish was able to get us to kill somebody though. I suppose that means that if we were keeping score, that she'd have won.
And that is our story.