Grindhouse presents: Planet Terror

Robert Rodriguez, the man who successfully pulled Sin City out of the comic books pages, teams up with renowned director Quentin Tarantino and bring us Grindhouse, two movies in one. Robert Rodriguez "Planet Terror", which can be resumed as 'hot chick with machine-gun leg makes zombies explode' and Quentin Tarantino's "Death Proof", which is Kurt Russel being a multi-faceted roadkiller who aims for bitches (I'll only be reviewing Planet Terror here).

If you're like me, an ignorant fool, and didn't bother to check an external source, you probably went into this movie expecting a general, midly entertaining horror/action movie. The first time I even heard about this movie, which was when a friend mentioned it, went something like this:

"Hey have you heard about that movie, Planet Terror? There's a girl with a machine gun instead of a leg. And zombies."
"I did now, and we're going to see it."

Yes, ultimately it was my love for mechanical limbs that brought me to see this movie. This chick not only had a mechanical limb, but she had a machine gun leg! I had to see this movie, and cherish it. But as I was saying, I pretty much walked in with the idea that I was about to see the usual horror/action mix-up movie. Now, if you actually bothered to research a bit, Grindhouse is supposed to be a homage to the movies back then on the 80s, so this was nothing like I was expecting.
Did I leave the theater disappointed? No, not really, mostly because I watched this on a dvd at home. But I wasn't disappointed at all. In fact, I got something even better than my expectations.

Planet Terror, being a tribute to the 80s, is a very silly movie. There is a lot of goofyness going on screen, purposely placed to resemble older, low-budgeted movies. The plot is not fully explained, and at said point, the message "Part of the movie is missing, sorry for the inconvenience, - the movie theater" pops up. Personally I found this very humorous, even more considering it appears right at the beginning of a sexual scene, but then we get right into the action again and not much is explained. If you really want to be picky, one of those things is "how the hell does the machine gun shoot if she doesn't pull the trigger?"

What I'm trying to say is, this movie isn't supposed to be taken very seriously. There's a LOT of 'over-the-top' humor, especially the way some characters are taken apart by the zombies, or how the undead explode randomly sometimes. However, what Rodriguez manages to do here, is not a comedy-in-a-horror setting movie, much like Scary Movie, but rather the contrary: a horror with comical scenes (think Army of Darkness) and general cheesiness. The main characters are badasses like hell. I mean, what else would you expect from a girl with a machine-gun instead of a leg? But, the main guy? Wray? Now, he's the classiest, most profissional zombie-killer ever. In a certain part at the beginning, he isn't able to get a gun, so what does he do? He gets a pair of knives and runs just as he kills zombies like a motherfucking samurai. It's the movie's way of telling us "this guy doesn't play around, he can and will disembowel you".

My final thoughts are: if you want to see this movie, then go with the mindset that you're about to enter a world where sillyness meets the Undead and they play strip poker. You should enjoy the film for its badass parts or for its over-the-top humor and not for the plot or for the character development.

Although, I must say, Rose McGowan is gorgeous. And you will forgive me for this, but she looks even hotter with that machine-gun leg of her.


I'd shoot that.

Overall, I give this movie a 7/10. Very solid, but definitely not for everyone.
 

Surgo

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The movie started off in one direction, then at the exact moment when Wray was in the hospital and did a Matrix-style flip off the wall to slash a zombie, totally changed direction into hilarious and awesome. It was at that point when I saw the movie for what it was, and it began kicking ass.
 
spoilers
Death Proof is basically girls chatting a lot in a bitchy manner coupled with a couple of really poorly orchestrated chase scenes. Every single thing that could be wrong in a movie is basically wrong in that. Pretty much only man-hating, overzealous feminists could enjoy it because that is basically half the movie. Planet Terror improves on that slightly, but barely.

I think the easiest example to point out why Planet Terror is shit is that the movie spends a good like three minutes total with some cook brother bitching about his brother wanting his 'secret recipe', him denying his brother that, and then them dramatically, both in a 'awww' sense and ridiculously dramatically gory sense, sharing it as they are gorily dying. Almost all of Planet Terror is filled with similar wastes of time. I do not care that they were going for some gritty vision, I do not care that they wanted to make it over the top, and I do not care that you are supposed to approach this stuff non-critically; this movie was hyped up endlessly to me, and it was just a giant crock of waste of time. It takes like a fucking hour for pepole to even start fucking freaking out about the zombies. Not as bad as Death Proof, but bad for the same reasons and in the same vein.

Another thing that is terrible is that they just randomly throw a machine girl on a girl's stump of a leg for the 'oh fuck that is awesome!!' response without it making any sense. Really? She can just automatically fire it when she needs to, but she never accidentally fires it into the ground stepping or anything? Is the requirement for firing 'lift it horiztonally more than needed in a step' or something (which of course would be impossible). Then the whole ending is her going 'I'm Rose McGowan..I am beautiful and badass...:-~'
 
I loved this move, some moves try to mix in comedy and horror and fail but this one was actually funny...

it reminded me a lot of Shawn of the Dead >_>
 

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