Serious Mental Health Thread

[Cryptis]

Hi, I'm Cryptis, and I struggle with depression and anxiety. Over the past year I've gone through a hospital and several treatment programs, and I have met a lot of people also struggling with mental illness. I've gone through two schools, and have spent more time out of school than in it. I've gone through good days and bad, and have struggled to stay afloat.

This past year has made me much more conscious of others' lack of education on the subject of mental health. I was first interested in making a room for this topic, but it would probably be too similar to The Happy Place, and would probably get memed to oblivion. So I'd like to make a thread for people to discuss their battles with depression, anxiety, and any other mental illness, or just any struggle in their life. I'm not judging. I'd also like to make this a place for people to ask questions about mental health. Lots of people know slim to none about mental problems, and that's alright. There isn't really a lot of information on it in today's society.

Resources

https://www.mentalhealth.gov/
http://www.trauma-pages.com/
http://www.adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/ask-and-learn/resources
This list is not complete. Let me know if you have a site I should add.

Disclaimer

I am not a therapist, and neither is anyone in this thread. We are here to listen, not to solve your problems. We should not be taking the place of a professional. If you are feeling like harming yourself or someone else, please use one of the hotlines below.

Hotlines

http://www.teenhealthandwellness.com/static/hotlines
http://www.crisistextline.org/textl...iSGhUBD3eu2MkRrQ1bgu7CtTFEL2AJW03AaAis08P8HAQ
http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/pa...gi9-ivixWqZdt7xgKK_YHocYykUsJtdrcIaAobF8P8HAQ
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now (thx Minwu)
Again, I need to add more hotlines. Please let me know what you think I should add here.

Additions

This is a spur of the moment thread, and I'm sure it's not complete. Please let me know what I should add, even if it's something as simple as a banner (which I currently don't know how to add :/).

I ask that we keep details of traumatic events to a minimum, as they can be triggering for some people.​

 

[toshimelonhead]

You would be surprised at how many people on this site have struggled with depression / anxiety. I have for a long time, but it has been much better in the past few months. I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Biggest things that have helped for me: 1.) Know your meds. Most do more harm than good and it's amazing what the right meds can do for you. 2.) A good psychiatrist is worth his/her weight in gold 3.) Take care of yourself as much as possible (eat well, exercise, etc.). It is not an easy battle by any means, but it does get MUCH better with the right help.

 

[Starmei]

I wasn't originally going to post anything but oh well, may as well share a bit of my story.

I struggled with pretty harsh depression a couple of years ago. I lost pretty much all hope I had in myself, my friends and my family. I became quite cold towards all of them, even though they just wanted to help me and I ended up shunning away the people who were trying to help me up. During my experience with depression I almost ended my own life on 2 occasions. I'm not going into detail as to why but there were a lot of problems going on around me and it was too much, I just wanted an escape from the hell that had become my life. I couldn't get a moment of peace and whenever I tried to do something that didn't boil down me being on my own in my room I had major doubts and anxiety about every little thing. The first time I intended to jump from on top of my old school, I thought at least in death I may have some could of impact on the people at my school who never appreciated anything about me or even noticed me much at all. I still don't know how he did it but my ex-best friend (we hadn't really spoken in a year) found me on that roof and managed to convince me to come down and think about what I was doing. I was reluctant at first but in the end I followed him. I thought I could bare all of the problems in the world around me on my own 2 shoulders, I was wrong. I just made my life a disorganised heap of hopelessness. After that my life gradually improved with the help of the people around me and me not listening to that dark voice in the back of my head filling me with doubt.

The 2nd time was about 6-8 months later, my home environment was still rather cold - my dad was pretty much never around because he was working or travelling and my mum was having her own internal struggles. Then the same friend who had helped me before got involved with drugs and the wrong people. I tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn't listen. He was found dead in his room about a month after I found out what he was doing. The person who had pretty much saved my life dead, and I blamed myself for not doing enough to help him back. I thought I had no one left to turn to, I sunk back into a gloomy, depressed and guilt-ridden state. This was around the time I dove into the online world. No one knew who I was on the internet, I was much more free on here than I had ever been in my 'real life.' I became like 2 completely separate people, one buried in sadness and the other without the heavy burden of my past on the internet. It took a while but I did make some friends, most notably some of the people that I met through PS from the CT room and the Ubers room. As my 2 separate personalities split further and further apart my 'real world' life became far worse and it was getting to the point where, like before, I couldn't get a moment of peace from the things going on around me or my own dark thoughts. I honestly thought I was bordering on crazy and maybe I was. One night I decided that I would do it, just escape from it all (again) and I hid a knife under my pillow with the intention of doing it while my mum was asleep. When I came on Skype that day, even though I thought I was a different person, my new(ish) friends knew something was wrong. I didn't tell them but they consoled me all the same. We got talking and just knowing that people still did want to talk to me must have calmed me down a bit. I didn't sleep that night, I stayed up speaking on Skype to a number of people and it gave me new hope for myself. From that moment on I've been trying to put my life back together and while I might not seem like it to most of the people who speak to me on a regular basis, I'm still a bit of a mess.

That said, I'm doing a whole lot better now, in a new country at a new school with friends both new and old. I deliberately left out parts of this story and I apologise if doing this makes parts of it confusing. I've told a few people about my experiences but I've never actually mentioned what happened to my best friend to any of them. user php Dilwar now you know what it was that I left out before.

Essentially what I've learned from this and what I'd like to pass on to anyone reading this who is struggling with any mental health problems or just internal struggles - you don't have to do this alone. There are people out there who want to help you. Be that friends, family, a therapist or just about anyone. Your life has a lot more importance than you may think, even if you feel like you're insignificant right now. You're not. Your life means a lot to the people who know you now and those who will get to know you in the future.

I hope this fits the grounds of what you wanted in your thread cryptis. I've learned a lot about mental health and many things related to it through my own experiences and with others experiencing similar things so I'll be following this thread. Very important and relevant problem in our world right now that's being underrated by far too many people.

(I'm not looking for advice or anything like that - this is in my past now. I'm just sharing my story)

 

[Cryptis]

You would be surprised at how many people on this site have struggled with depression / anxiety. I have for a long time, but it has been much better in the past few months. I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Biggest things that have helped for me: 1.) Know your meds. Most do more harm than good and it's amazing what the right meds can do for you. 2.) A good psychiatrist is worth his/her weight in gold 3.) Take care of yourself as much as possible (eat well, exercise, etc.). It is not an easy battle by any means, but it does get MUCH better with the right help.

You make good points. I understand what you're saying with meds, but I'd word it differently. I'd say that the wrong meds do more harm than good, as there are many people who are reluctant to take meds and hearing that most meds won't help is going to make them even more paranoid.

I wasn't originally going to post anything but oh well, may as well share a bit of my story.

I struggled with pretty harsh depression a couple of years ago. I lost pretty much all hope I had in myself, my friends and my family. I became quite cold towards all of them, even though they just wanted to help me and I ended up shunning away the people who were trying to help me up. During my experience with depression I almost ended my own life on 2 occasions. I'm not going into detail as to why but there were a lot of problems going on around me and it was too much, I just wanted an escape from the hell that had become my life. I couldn't get a moment of peace and whenever I tried to do something that didn't boil down me being on my own in my room I had major doubts and anxiety about every little thing. The first time I intended to jump from on top of my old school, I thought at least in death I may have some could of impact on the people at my school who never appreciated anything about me or even noticed me much at all. I still don't know how he did it but my ex-best friend (we hadn't really spoken in a year) found me on that roof and managed to convince me to come down and think about what I was doing. I was reluctant at first but in the end I followed him. I thought I could bare all of the problems in the world around me on my own 2 shoulders, I was wrong. I just made my life a disorganised heap of hopelessness. After that my life gradually improved with the help of the people around me and me not listening to that dark voice in the back of my head filling me with doubt.

The 2nd time was about 6-8 months later, my home environment was still rather cold - my dad was pretty much never around because he was working or travelling and my mum was having her own internal struggles. Then the same friend who had helped me before got involved with drugs and the wrong people. I tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn't listen. He was found dead in his room about a month after I found out what he was doing. The person who had pretty much saved my life dead, and I blamed myself for not doing enough to help him back. I thought I had no one left to turn to, I sunk back into a gloomy, depressed and guilt-ridden state. This was around the time I dove into the online world. No one knew who I was on the internet, I was much more free on here than I had ever been in my 'real life.' I became like 2 completely separate people, one buried in sadness and the other without the heavy burden of my past on the internet. It took a while but I did make some friends, most notably some of the people that I met through PS from the CT room and the Ubers room. As my 2 separate personalities split further and further apart my 'real world' life became far worse and it was getting to the point where, like before, I couldn't get a moment of peace from the things going on around me or my own dark thoughts. I honestly thought I was bordering on crazy and maybe I was. One night I decided that I would do it, just escape from it all (again) and I hid a knife under my pillow with the intention of doing it while my mum was asleep. When I came on Skype that day, even though I thought I was a different person, my new(ish) friends knew something was wrong. I didn't tell them but they consoled me all the same. We got talking and just knowing that people still did want to talk to me must have calmed me down a bit. I didn't sleep that night, I stayed up speaking on Skype to a number of people and it gave me new hope for myself. From that moment on I've been trying to put my life back together and while I might not seem like it to most of the people who speak to me on a regular basis, I'm still a bit of a mess.

That said, I'm doing a whole lot better now, in a new country at a new school with friends both new and old. I deliberately left out parts of this story and I apologise if doing this makes parts of it confusing. I've told a few people about my experiences but I've never actually mentioned what happened to my best friend to any of them. user php Dilwar now you know what it was that I left out before.

Essentially what I've learned from this and what I'd like to pass on to anyone reading this who is struggling with any mental health problems or just internal struggles - you don't have to do this alone. There are people out there who want to help you. Be that friends, family, a therapist or just about anyone. Your life has a lot more importance than you may think, even if you feel like you're insignificant right now. You're not. Your life means a lot to the people who know you now and those who will get to know you in the future.

I hope this fits the grounds of what you wanted in your thread cryptis. I've learned a lot about mental health and many things related to it through my own experiences and with others experiencing similar things so I'll be following this thread. Very important and relevant problem in our world right now that's being underrated by far too many people.

(I'm not looking for advice or anything like that - this is in my past now. I'm just sharing my story)

Thanks for sharing. I can totally relate to acting different online. I'm not more open here, and I can't place my finger on it, but I feel different here. It's a weird feeling. Hearing that people can better is a great thing, and I totally want your story here.

 

[Cresselia~~]

Heh. Mine's not exactly depression, but I'm having a similar condition for more than 10 years by now.
The medication keeps it under control, but the sad thing is, I show no signs of recovery at all.

No one knows how long it will stick onto me.

But anyway, if I ever get rid of it, I'd like to study full time again.
I always loved biology and wanted to be a PhD.

 

[Typhlito]

I dealt with depression and anxiety as well in the past. I am better now although I still take meds when I need them which isnt often thankfully. In my case though I havent really fallen into a deep depression. Its more like I was prone to being depressed much easier than others although they were fairly short lived. As for my anxiety, I still deal with it today when it comes to social experiences. I mean I have also gotten better than I was in the past and im still working on getting better at it but Im still kinda socially awkward and still have difficulty getting aquantinces to become friends. I don't have much of an issue making aquantinces though. Anyway, long story short, I had problems with my mood as a kid but as I matured I got better. Most likely wont go away but its being managed with good enough results.

 

[Cryptis]

That's great to hear that as you matured you got better. I'm improving now, but I definitely could be making more progress. Thanks for sharing Typhlito!