Mr. President, the Devil requires a match (Warstory Shoddybattle)

[Lou Cypher]

Lou Cypher, aka The Devil, went on Shoddybattle looking for a game. Little did he know he'd find George W. Bush waiting to accept his challenge.


And so it began. George W. Bush was to face the Devil himself in a battle for world domination. Both bringing standards and not-so-standards to the table.


Lou's team (In order of appearance):

George's team: (In order of appearance):

LET. THE GAME. BEGIN.

George W. Bush sent out Metagross.
Lou Cypher sent out Alakazam.
Lou Cypher switched in Gliscor.
Metagross used Earthquake.
It doesn't affect Gliscor...

Yeah, Alakazam is cool and all but he ain't gonna stay in on Metagross. Gliscor lol'd at the quake. However, at this point I was unsure about what Metagross would bring to the table, so I just went to quake. Gliscor outspeeds anyway.
---
George W. Bush switched in Tangrowth.
Gliscor used Earthquake.
It's not very effective...
Tangrowth lost 11% of its health.
Tangrowth's leftovers restored its health a little!
Tangrowth restored 6% of its health.

That be the first time I encountered Tangrowth. God that thing is fudgly. On top of that, Gliscor didn't even really dent him. So...
---
Gliscor used Aerial Ace.
It's super effective!
Tangrowth lost 27% of its health.
Tangrowth used Sleep Powder.
Gliscor fell asleep!
Tangrowth's leftovers restored its health a little!
Tangrowth restored 6% of its health.

I slapped myself at this point. Tangrowth's DEF is insane. No way Gliscor could've taken that...well...spaghetti monster.
---
Lou Cypher switched in Azelf.
Tangrowth used Knock Off.
Tangrowth knocked off foe Azelf's Life Orb!
It's super effective!
Azelf lost 13% of its health.
Tangrowth's leftovers restored its health a little!
Tangrowth restored 6% of its health.

So I decided to hit on its Special weak. But alas...
---
George W. Bush switched in Blissey.
Azelf used Flamethrower.
Blissey lost 13% of its health.

My prediction fails me. The fat stupid egg thing comes in and lols at Azelf. What should be noted though is that I don't see any leftovers recovery here. What is the thing up to?
---
Azelf used Explosion.
Blissey lost 137% of its health.
George W. Bush's Blissey fainted.
Lou Cypher's Azelf fainted.

Ah, he likes a good blast huh? So do I. With Blissey no more, I felt it could be safe to send in Alakazam again, as he has tendencies to maul.

Lou Cypher: 5
George W. Bush: 5
---
George W. Bush switched in Tangrowth.
Lou Cypher switched in Alakazam.
George W. Bush switched in Metagross.
Alakazam used Trick.
Alakazam obtained Choice Scarf!
Metagross obtained Choice Scarf!

Well that was...unexpected, to say the least. Scarfgross, yeah, its viable enough. Oh well, time to scram.
---
Lou Cypher switched in Gliscor.
Metagross used Ice Punch.
It's super effective!
Gliscor lost 104% of its health.
Lou Cypher's Gliscor fainted.

And here we see why my prediction tends to fail me as well. I should've seen that coming, after all, he did get a peek at my Gliscor already. Even so, I did not plan on giving up just yet.

Lou Cypher: 4
George W. Bush: 5
---
Lou Cypher switched in Kingdra.
George W. Bush switched in Azelf.
Kingdra used Rain Dance.
Rain began to fall!
The rain continues to fall.

Kingdra. Mine is a Life Orb'd Blissey Surpriser - kills any CM Bliss thinking it tries to stat-up on the more predictable Rain Dancer. So I wondered what'd come next...
---
George W. Bush switched in Dragonite.
Kingdra used Waterfall.
It's not very effective...
Dragonite lost 46% of its health.
Kingdra lost 10% of its health.
The rain continues to fall.

Oooh, Dragon showdown. As you can see Kingdra doesn't do enough, but that can be fixed. But then...BUT THEN...
---
Kingdra used Return.
Dragonite lost 46% of its health.
Kingdra lost 10% of its health.
Dragonite used Dragon Claw.
It's super effective!
Kingdra lost 115% of its health.
Lou Cypher's Kingdra fainted.
Dragonite lost 10% of its health.
George W. Bush's Dragonite fainted.

What a stupid mistake. I should've just used Draco Meteor here, but I wanted to keep that for Tangrowth. I figured Return would do more as Waterfall here but was I ever wrong. At least his Draggy was Orb'd too, otherwise things would look VERY grim for me.

Lou Cypher: 3
George W. Bush: 4

One behind and only 3 pokes left. Not good.
---
George W. Bush switched in Tangrowth.
Lou Cypher switched in Alakazam.
George W. Bush switched in Metagross.
Alakazam used Shadow Ball.
Metagross lost 36% of its health.
The rain continues to fall.

So Tangrowth-Alakazam is not a matchup Tangrowth tends to favor. Tangrowth runs to Metagross, probably expecting Psychic. But this time I saw it coming and I Shadow Ball. It still doesn't do much, but I had a plan here. See, what I had left can't really switch in like that, so I had to lock Metagross into a specific move first. And that would require a Zam sacrifice.
---
Alakazam used Shadow Ball.
A critical hit!
Metagross lost 79% of its health.
George W. Bush's Metagross fainted.
The rain continues to fall.

But hax is on my side as Zam valiantly takes down Metagross. Even better is that he is now left with a fragile Tangrowth, but there is more as just that...

Lou Cypher: 3
George W. Bush: 3
---
Lou Cypher: wewt
George W. Bush: That's a bitch.
George W. Bush switched in Azelf.
Azelf used Nasty Plot.
Azelf's special attack was sharply raised.
Alakazam used Shadow Ball.
It's super effective!
Azelf lost 91% of its health.
The rain stopped.

Azelf. Zam's Twin Glass Cannon, just more Cannon in my opinion. How he forgot he was weak to Shadow Ball is beyond me, but it did survive anyway. And outspeeded Alakazam. How the? Seeing that plot I hoped for a Life Orb...
---
George W. Bush: Wow.
George W. Bush: I forgot.
Azelf used Flamethrower.
Alakazam lost 124% of its health.
Lou Cypher's Alakazam fainted.
Azelf lost 10% of its health.
George W. Bush's Azelf fainted.

Which he indeed had. I wonder though, how can he outspeed Scarfzam? Not that I mind that badly.

Lou Cypher: 2
George W. Bush: 2

So we both had 2 left. I hadn't showed mine yet, and from him I only knew Tangrowth. So I took the safer route here.
---
George W. Bush switched in Tangrowth.
Lou Cypher switched in Empoleon.
Empoleon used Ice Beam.
It's super effective!
Tangrowth lost 75% of its health.
Tangrowth used Sleep Powder.
Empoleon fell asleep!
Tangrowth's leftovers restored its health a little!
Tangrowth restored 6% of its health.

Well, Empoleon did a huge dent to Tangrowth, who now has very little health left thanks to the previous dents left by Gliscor. However, he still has a surprise Pokemon. As do I...
However, there is a huge risk involved. If he attacks, I'm dead. If he doesn't...
---
George W. Bush switched in Absol.
Lou Cypher switched in Relicanth.

He switches too! Absol and Relicanth are left in the fray, and we both proceed...
---
Absol used Substitute.
Absol lost 25% of its health.
Absol made a substitute!
Relicanth used Rock Polish.
Relicanth's speed was sharply raised.

I see what he tried now. In putting Empoleon to sleep, he could go for an Absol setup. Pity I don't let sleeping Pinguins lie.
---
Relicanth used Double-edge.
A critical hit!
The substitute took damage for Absol!
Absol's substitute faded!
Absol used Swords Dance.
Absol's attack was sharply raised.

Why he used Swords Dance is beyond me, seeing as how Relicanth would now outspeed him. Agility would've seemed to make more sense.
---
Absol used Sucker Punch.
Relicanth lost 72% of its health.
Relicanth used Double-edge.
Absol lost 68% of its health.
Absol's Liechi Berry raised its attack!
Relicanth's leftovers restored its health a little!
Relicanth restored 6% of its health.

Or not. This made me go for some more gambling games, not knowing Absol's 4th move which could be a direct attack. Oh and remind me to put on an attack booster on Relicanth.
Why Double Edge you ask? I didn't feel like taking the risk of missing here. A miss would've been death.
---
Absol used Sucker Punch.
But it failed!
Relicanth used Rock Polish.
Relicanth's speed was sharply raised.
Relicanth's leftovers restored its health a little!
Relicanth restored 6% of its health.

Taking the gamble and Polishing up. He still uses Sucker Punch. However, I now feel a bit in a bind - I could try to go for another Polish but what if he just hits? Got to try...
---
Absol used Sucker Punch.
Relicanth lost 85% of its health.
Lou Cypher's Relicanth fainted.

Oh. Shitbiscuits. Now I have a sleeping Empoleon up against Tangrowth and Absol. Who danced up twice. Luckily Empoleon resists Absols attacks.

Lou Cypher: 1
George W. Bush: 2
---
Lou Cypher switched in Empoleon.
Absol used Sucker Punch.
It's not very effective...
Empoleon lost 56% of its health.
Empoleon is fast asleep!
Empoleon's leftovers restored its health a little!
Empoleon restored 6% of its health.

Wait, it works when I select an attack while sleeping too? Well, that is unexpected.
---
Absol used Sucker Punch.
But it failed!
Empoleon is fast asleep!
Empoleon's leftovers restored its health a little!
Empoleon restored 6% of its health.

So I just select a move that doesn't damage. Easy like that.
---
Lou Cypher: didnt know it worked like that
Absol used Me First.
But it failed!
Empoleon is fast asleep!
Empoleon's leftovers restored its health a little!
Empoleon restored 6% of its health.

So the 4th move is Me First. Dangit, should've just Polished up with Relicanth until he ran out of PP for Sucker Punch, as Me First would've failed him due to lower speed. Meh, a lesson learnt for later.
---
Absol used Sucker Punch.
But it failed!
Empoleon woke up!
Empoleon used Stealth Rock.
Pointed stones float in the air around your foe's team!
Empoleon's leftovers restored its health a little!
Empoleon restored 6% of its health.

Stealth Rock? This late? Yup. Do remember that A-Absol used Substitute and took 68% from Relicanth and B-Tangrowth took Gliscor's assault and a highly damaging Ice Beam. So I figured that if my next move would win, I would win.
---
Absol used Me First.
But it failed!
Empoleon used Roar.
George W. Bush switched in Tangrowth.
Pointed stones dug into Tangrowth.
Tangrowth lost 12% of its health.
George W. Bush's Tangrowth fainted.
Empoleon's leftovers restored its health a little!
Empoleon restored 6% of its health.

And yes, it works! Phazing Tank Empoleon is a marvelous little Pokémon. At this point we both know it; Absol is too low on health and has to come in.

Lou Cypher: 1
George W. Bush: 1
---
George W. Bush switched in Absol.
Pointed stones dug into Absol.
Absol lost 12% of its health.
George W. Bush's Absol fainted.
Lou Cypher wins!

Lou Cypher: 1
George W. Bush: 0

George W. Bush: >_> gg
Lou Cypher: wewt
George W. Bush: Close game.
Lou Cypher: very good game
Leonidas: That was really close. Good game.

And so it ends. Loucypher triumphs and will reign surpreme. Muhahahahahahaha*cough*hahaha*gasp*haha

I should quit smoking.

Props:
- Empoleon is pimp.
- Alakazam for lucking out Metagross
- Azelf, although he didn't exactly DO anything
- A VERY close game
- Devil will reign
- George W., for giving a GREAT battle.

Slops:
- My prediction still needs work
- Relicanth not getting his KO.
- Me doing dumb with Kingdra

 

[OMFGitsEric]

Add to slops; My Azelf also not doing anything. I didn't even get to show off my non-standard Blissey set =/
Note to self: Me First doesn't have priority.

 

[Lou Cypher]

Your Azelf did kill Alakazam >.>

 

[OMFGitsEric]

Because of a glitch >_>
err...I think.

 

[n3ther]

Good battle and warstory. Alakazam should've outsped Azelf. It must've been a glitch. Maybe using Trick causes some items to lose their effect. No idea what else would cause Azelf to be faster.

 

[StrangerDanger]

I dont think you should've won this--he got greedy with some of his pokes, and went for more than he could get.

You made some bad predictions, and they snowballed.
Whether or not this was the battle to write a story about is irrelevant,

Gliscor died because of horrible prediction,
Scarfing that metagross was horrible,
You asploded Azelf waaaaaay too soon, IMO,
You failed to use a STAB Draco Meteor in the face of a team with no special wall,
That HAX almost decided the match, or Scarfgross would've wrecked this team a bit,
and i dont understand the rationale behind Relicanth.

You saved him until the end to be effective, as all Glass Cannons/UUfavs should be, but then he only did 68% to a guy, it may have seemed like you saved him for nothing.
Although, that 68% DID put him in Srock range.

 

[Lou Cypher]

Well, at the time Gliscor died, I did not know yet what that Metagross had. I knew it COULD pack Ice Punch but I've seen other sets so I took the gamble.

What would I have done against Blissey otherwise? Some of my pokes can take it down, but can't switch in due to TWave (Kingdra, Relicanth). So I had to get rid of it asap.

Yeah, you're right about the Draco Meteor thing, but like I explained, I wanted to reserve it for Tangrowth or whatever else would be coming out. An error on my side.

You might be right about the Hax. Fact is we'll never know what happened otherwise. That said, do note that Azelf outspeeds Scarfzam later on. Something fishy?

Relicanth usually does more after Polish. Absol had that priority move tho, making it hard for him to get through. He CAN do more, but I'm still experimenting with him.

 

[StrangerDanger]

Well, of course, not having something else to deal with blissey rather than blowing up one of the most potent special sweepers in the game,

may tell you something.

 

[OMFGitsEric]

It's an anti-lead Metagross. It NEEDS the scarf.
Please explain to me how I got greedy.

 

[Hyra]

StrangerDanger is just beigna nitpick. This was awesome. The mistakes made it awesome. Dragon Pulse beats Return on Kingdra though. Water/Dragon and Water/Normal are both resisted by Empoleon only, so there's no need for Return if you have Waterfall. (Otherwise, Amazing)

 

[Solar Crash]

I actually think Relicanth is a fine pokemon. Not sure why it ran Double-edge over Head Smash or why it was running Rock Polish... though I can see the reasoning behind Rock Polish, I guess. Good guy though. Lots of def and plenty of damage from Head Smash.

Also, a conditional Absol like the one seen here probably isn't recommended. Sub/SD/Sucker Punch/Me First? Uhhh... I hope it never sees the stealthy Taunt/DD Gyarados.

That aside. Meh. It was a decent read. Not as bad as some, but not as thrilling as others. :p

 

[StrangerDanger]

I am just nitpicking, i didn't mean to sound like a dick, but it's just those things that i think you should take from the experience.

@OMFG ITS ERIC-I hadnt realized until after posting that you didnt have an attacking move, my bad.

 

[Cooper]

Though you're right and there was some bad prediction on your part, I like how you pulled off a win using Absol's own weakness against it and not directly attacking with Empoleon. However, consider yourself very lucky that Absol didn't know a direct attack, or you would have been finished.

 

[Eyelander]

StrangerDanger
Where the heck are YOUR perfect-prediction/complete ownage warstories??
This warstory is awesome imo, and theres really no point in nitpicking something that was done for fun

 

[AlleyViper]

Alakazam used Trick.
Alakazam obtained Choice Scarf!
Metagross obtained Choice Scarf!

Best part of the story right there.

 

[StrangerDanger]

StrangerDanger
Where the heck are YOUR perfect-prediction/complete ownage warstories??
This warstory is awesome imo, and theres really no point in nitpicking something that was done for fun

I've just critiqued it, i of course liked it, as i do all warstories.

My only concern is, if it was done solely for fun, is it really the thing to make a warstory about?

 

[Eyelander]

If you don't play(from catch-em-all to competitive battling) pokemon for fun, what do you play it for o.O?

 

[AlleyViper]

If you don't play(from catch-em-all to competitive battling) pokemon for fun, what do you play it for o.O?

Pokemon is serious business, my friend.

Personally, I play to crush the hopes and dreams of little kids. I only lurk around Smogon and play competitively so that I can learn the most efficient ways to dream-crush. :B

 

[Eyelander]

Pokemon is serious business, my friend.

Personally, I play to crush the hopes and dreams of little kids. I only lurk around Smogon and play competitively so that I can learn the most efficient ways to dream-crush. :B

woaho
don't make me pull out the life card >:)

 

[Kumar]

This was a bad battle, but a good story. It was close and had a lot of fun moments. The Scarf thing and the Sucker Punch thing made me lol!

 

[Clockwork Seal]

I actually think Relicanth is a fine pokemon. Not sure why it ran Double-edge over Head Smash or why it was running Rock Polish... though I can see the reasoning behind Rock Polish, I guess. Good guy though. Lots of def and plenty of damage from Head Smash.

Like he said, he used Double Edge because he didn't want Head Smash's accuracy to bite him in the ass. At least, I assume head smash, since I don't really know his set >_>

And Polishcanth is awesome, if you can manage to get it set up. Head Smash with some outspeeding going on has paid off for me on more than one occasion. A lot of people seem unaware of just how much of a hurt Relicanth can put on their pokés.

Anyway, mad <3 for using Relicanth. Even if it didn't do a whole lot, it's one of my favorites and it's great to see someone else using one. I take it you're running Rock Polish/Head Smash/Waterfall/Double Edge?

 

[Lou Cypher]

Clockwork, you nailed it to the spot. I should Life Orb it tho, gives just enough damage.

 

[Purple Jesus]

Clockwork, you nailed it to the spot. I should Life Orb it tho, gives just enough damage.

I was going to point this out also, life orb puts relicanth over the hump on a couple things that he can't quite OHKO without the 1.3 boost. My brother runs a Gliscor and Relicanth combination (Gliscor baton passes agility too relicanth, but he also runs rock polish on the relicanth so it can be self sustaining too). Gliscor draws ice attacks like flies on poop so he can agility on the swap and usually baton pass easily to Relicanth since Relicanth has a nice ice resistance. Anyway I lost track of my main thought.. the life orb will be really nice, I ran some calculations with it for my brother a long time ago but it puts you into more OHKO ranges on certain pokemon and head smash can also 2HKO skarmory (I can't remember if it guarentees a 2HKO, its damn close to a guarenteed 2HKO for sure though).

The battle was just ok, though whoever was grilling him for guessing wrong for an Ice Punch Metagross needs to chill out. Hell, Id swap back into metagross most of the time with a gliscor since their staple moves are Meteor Mash/Pursuit/ThunderPunch/Explosion/Bullet Punch/Earthquake. Id never really considered Ice Punch and nice move on the guy running Ice Punch for some surprise. You learn a new alternative you had never thought of much every time you play and after you have been hurt by it you can adjust accordingly next time.

 

[Clockwork Seal]

Clockwork, you nailed it to the spot. I should Life Orb it tho, gives just enough damage.

Yeah, I run Life Orb on mine. In an ideal world, my Floatzel passes it a Bulk Up as well, but it happens far, far less often than I'd like in practice.

I also run Earthquake over Double Edge, just to hit a few extra things harder. I honestly can't think of anything off the top of my head that I'd rather Double Edge than Waterfall/Head Smash/Earthquake, although I'm sure that someone will come along and ruin me for this statement. I suppose you do it for the 100% accuracy attack that can't just be levitated over?

What EV spread do you run?