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RPSI R3
- Thread starter RODAN
- Start date
- Status
RODAN
Banned deucer.
x > y where y is the opposing submission and x is a concept that beats y 100% of the time
vs
the empty shell of a man
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A small bakery with an emergency supply of firecrackers and duct tape
vs
George H. W. Bush and George W. Bush doing a Father-Son Kameahameha.
vs
the empty shell of a man
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A small bakery with an emergency supply of firecrackers and duct tape
vs
George H. W. Bush and George W. Bush doing a Father-Son Kameahameha.
I approve of that retort, Hipmonlee. Very nice.
The Iron Fakean, concerned more with winning than submitting a witty prompt, sat around trying to come up with a guaranteed winner. He thought long and short about it, and smugly decided that saying he wins would be the surest way to win. He threw in some simplistic math, stared at it for about ten seconds, promptly submitted, and then went back to trolling as usual.
While the man of aluminum decided to go for a prompt declaring he wanted it all, shade was frittering around making up a bunch of half baked submissions as usual. After culling the submissions that tried too hard, he settled on one, a submission that promised absolute nothingness. All the hollow melancholy humanity could offer condensed to one unembellished line, submitted in a game meant to make people laugh...
Try as I might, dividing by 0, multiplying by 0, using empty set, working forwards, backwards, integrals, derivatives, I kept getting ties or DNE. Finally, I decided to put it to philosophy...I set shade staring into the image of God, something encompassing all, while The Iron Kenyan was thrown into a black hole, something implying sheer nothingness. While both died tragic deaths, shade was turned into a weeping pillar of salt, while no one knows exactly what happened to The Iron Kenyan...and everyone knows something is better than nothing.
Winner: the empty shell of a man
George W. Bush had led a curious life. As a child, he was shot from the planet Vegeta to this world, Earth. He had gone about trying to destroy the world with his wimpy fists, but soon bumped his head, becoming a docile, friendly, stupid sort. W. felt a particular affinity to one creature he saw immediately upon waking, a noble monkey. Bushy spent his days and nights living with all the monkeys of the wild, learning their ways and habits, while his strength slowly but surely grew.
One day, George H.W. was being led on a trip through a rain forest by the president of some pitiful South American country begging for his big country's money. At this time, H.W. was working his way up the political chain, so he had to take on these sorts of stupid, boring jobs. Suddenly, to his astonishment, he saw a creature leaping in front of him with power that he had previously only seen in his indomitable self. His curiosity wildly aroused, he checked to see if the president was looking, and with good chance to not be noticed, he zapped young Georgey Peorgy with a Galick Gun attack. Asking the president for a moment, he retrieved the body, knowing he had his future protege.
After many years of teaching W. to blend into society, George Senior knew he could entrust Junior with his secret: the kamehamea wave. Deciding it was also a moment to inflict damage on Europe, at the time getting unruly over the NAFTA debacle, Bush I and II flew to Europe to blow up a bakery, the symbol of all that is fine and noble in Europe, as they are stuck in the past and do not realize that fast food is the best.
The first bakery they came upon had an ample supply of duct tape and firecrackers, giving Papa Bush a good idea. "Son, as you know, I am soon to be president. This power I am about to teach you is more powerful than neutron bombs, more powerful than even the mind control of the Republican Party over the United States. I will fire off a shot with you, but I will reduce my power to the bare minimum, nowhere near enough to destroy this shop. If, after I reinforce the building with duct tape, the most invincible material on this planet, you can still manage to set off every firecracker in the place, then I will allow you to succeed me as President. If not, you will forever have to live in Texas, the worst state."
In reply, Bush Junior nodded firmly, confidently. His confidence waned a bit as he saw that the duct tape was extra strength, not normal, but the United States hung in the balance, so he had to do his best. Papa Bush walked him through the steps, and then it was time...
KA
ME
HA
ME
HA
The duct tape stood firm at first, only Papa Bush's condensed beam getting through the windows. Papa Bush exhorted his son to put all his energy into it, "imagine that Perfect Communism has been achieved, threatening to destroy the entire world son!". The mere mention of such a vile creature raised Lil' Bushypoo's adrenaline unceasingly, his power level rising by the moment. Finally firing the beam fully and letting it go, both Bushes were unsure if the energy had filled the building enough despite the impressive first attempt. Upon closer inspection, he had done it - every firecracker was successfully set off.
Little did George W. Bush know, he was on the path to accomplishing the evil mission he had completely forgotten.
Winner: George H. W. Bush and George W. Bush doing a Father-Son Kameahameha.
The Iron Fakean, concerned more with winning than submitting a witty prompt, sat around trying to come up with a guaranteed winner. He thought long and short about it, and smugly decided that saying he wins would be the surest way to win. He threw in some simplistic math, stared at it for about ten seconds, promptly submitted, and then went back to trolling as usual.
While the man of aluminum decided to go for a prompt declaring he wanted it all, shade was frittering around making up a bunch of half baked submissions as usual. After culling the submissions that tried too hard, he settled on one, a submission that promised absolute nothingness. All the hollow melancholy humanity could offer condensed to one unembellished line, submitted in a game meant to make people laugh...
Try as I might, dividing by 0, multiplying by 0, using empty set, working forwards, backwards, integrals, derivatives, I kept getting ties or DNE. Finally, I decided to put it to philosophy...I set shade staring into the image of God, something encompassing all, while The Iron Kenyan was thrown into a black hole, something implying sheer nothingness. While both died tragic deaths, shade was turned into a weeping pillar of salt, while no one knows exactly what happened to The Iron Kenyan...and everyone knows something is better than nothing.
Winner: the empty shell of a man
George W. Bush had led a curious life. As a child, he was shot from the planet Vegeta to this world, Earth. He had gone about trying to destroy the world with his wimpy fists, but soon bumped his head, becoming a docile, friendly, stupid sort. W. felt a particular affinity to one creature he saw immediately upon waking, a noble monkey. Bushy spent his days and nights living with all the monkeys of the wild, learning their ways and habits, while his strength slowly but surely grew.
One day, George H.W. was being led on a trip through a rain forest by the president of some pitiful South American country begging for his big country's money. At this time, H.W. was working his way up the political chain, so he had to take on these sorts of stupid, boring jobs. Suddenly, to his astonishment, he saw a creature leaping in front of him with power that he had previously only seen in his indomitable self. His curiosity wildly aroused, he checked to see if the president was looking, and with good chance to not be noticed, he zapped young Georgey Peorgy with a Galick Gun attack. Asking the president for a moment, he retrieved the body, knowing he had his future protege.
After many years of teaching W. to blend into society, George Senior knew he could entrust Junior with his secret: the kamehamea wave. Deciding it was also a moment to inflict damage on Europe, at the time getting unruly over the NAFTA debacle, Bush I and II flew to Europe to blow up a bakery, the symbol of all that is fine and noble in Europe, as they are stuck in the past and do not realize that fast food is the best.
The first bakery they came upon had an ample supply of duct tape and firecrackers, giving Papa Bush a good idea. "Son, as you know, I am soon to be president. This power I am about to teach you is more powerful than neutron bombs, more powerful than even the mind control of the Republican Party over the United States. I will fire off a shot with you, but I will reduce my power to the bare minimum, nowhere near enough to destroy this shop. If, after I reinforce the building with duct tape, the most invincible material on this planet, you can still manage to set off every firecracker in the place, then I will allow you to succeed me as President. If not, you will forever have to live in Texas, the worst state."
In reply, Bush Junior nodded firmly, confidently. His confidence waned a bit as he saw that the duct tape was extra strength, not normal, but the United States hung in the balance, so he had to do his best. Papa Bush walked him through the steps, and then it was time...
KA
ME
HA
ME
HA
The duct tape stood firm at first, only Papa Bush's condensed beam getting through the windows. Papa Bush exhorted his son to put all his energy into it, "imagine that Perfect Communism has been achieved, threatening to destroy the entire world son!". The mere mention of such a vile creature raised Lil' Bushypoo's adrenaline unceasingly, his power level rising by the moment. Finally firing the beam fully and letting it go, both Bushes were unsure if the energy had filled the building enough despite the impressive first attempt. Upon closer inspection, he had done it - every firecracker was successfully set off.
Little did George W. Bush know, he was on the path to accomplishing the evil mission he had completely forgotten.
Winner: George H. W. Bush and George W. Bush doing a Father-Son Kameahameha.
Dragon Ball Z themed judgings!
x > y where y is the opposing submission and x is a concept that beats y 100% of the time
vs
the empty shell of a man
x and y, two cosmic beings in the mythological Mathematical Universe, were at war. Each continued to become greater and greater than ever before. Here is a graph to represent this:
After thousands of years of increasing at the same rate, x finally decided to start trying and increased his power tenfold rather than at the same rate as y. y did not like this, and so he made a hole in space and time, creating what he called an Earth wormhole to another universe. This sent them tumbling and crashing onto a planet called Earth in a mysterious universe where men are born from eggs that are laid.
They fought all over this planet, competing for the highest altitude possible without being airborne. Eventually the two of them reached the top of Mount Everest. x spied a huge, ancient looking egg and, upon detecting its power, backed away. Meanwhile, y took the opportunity to get revenge on x and performed its fusion technique with the egg. From the egg emerged a man, who promptly turned into a HUGE DRAGON.
The dragon flew away. x couldn't sense y's presence flying away, so he looked back at the egg shell where the man had originally come from, and detected y there. y had somehow messed up the fusion technique, and was now nothing more than the empty shell of a man (that turned into a dragon and flew away)! x quickly pulverised y in a fight, graphed below:
x > y where y is the opposing submission and x is a concept that beats y 100% of the time wins!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A small bakery with an emergency supply of firecrackers and duct tape
vs
George H. W. Bush and George W. Bush doing a Father-Son Kameahameha.
A shady bakery in America had finally come under scrutiny by the corrupt cops in the local district, where reportedly, an alleged undercover MI6 agent was taking residence. For whatever reason, it was a special investigation conducted by George W. Bush and George H. W. Bush.
The two of them walked up to the counter and requested to buy a loaf of bread. This was, apparently, a secret code for requesting to buy illegal fireworks and illegal super-powerful duct tape. The man said 'I'll just be one moment' and walked into the back of the store, returning with fireworks and duct tape. George and George presented their temporary police badges and stated 'You're under arrest for being in possession of illegal fireworks. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Blah blah blah etc'. The two of them ordered their cronies in and they confiscated all of the fireworks they could find in the back room, but there was no trace of the MI6 agent. George H. W. Bush ordered the cops to return to headquarters and report their success.
After the cops had left, a British man wearing ear muffs emerged from somewhere in the bakery they perhaps had missed. He beckoned them to a hidden trap door, inside of which there seemed to be a huge additional emergency supply of fireworks and duct tape. As the father and son attempted to leave through the trap door, someone above closed it. The British man threw cyanide-coated darts at the men, who reacted unusually swiftly in order to evade them.
"I knew it" the MI6 agent said in a know-it-all tone. "You are the Super Saiyans we've been looking for."
With that, George H. W. Bush and George W. Bush started emitting a yellow glow and screaming very loudly, but the MI6 agent seemed prepared. He pressed a button on his Rolex, and from behind him, hundreds of firecrackers went off, drowning out the yelling sound and psyching out the Super Saiyan duo, causing them to cease powering up. The agent threw more darts, this time aimed to knock them out rather than kill the two Saiyans. A few made contact, and George W. Bush started to feel drowsy. After a brief lightning speed combat session, the two of them realised that they couldn't win this fight, so they would resort to a cheap, cliche, and misspelt energy beam to do the job.
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEE....
Unfortunately for the father and son, there were still more firecrackers to be activated, and after a brief button-push on the Rolex, the sound of them shouting out was once more drowned out, effectively shutting down the production of the beam. The two of them collapsed, overwhelmed by the very loud sounds. The MI6 agent took off the ear muffs and tied them up with duct tape.
A small bakery with an emergency supply of firecrackers and duct tape wins!
x > y where y is the opposing submission and x is a concept that beats y 100% of the time
vs
the empty shell of a man
x and y, two cosmic beings in the mythological Mathematical Universe, were at war. Each continued to become greater and greater than ever before. Here is a graph to represent this:
After thousands of years of increasing at the same rate, x finally decided to start trying and increased his power tenfold rather than at the same rate as y. y did not like this, and so he made a hole in space and time, creating what he called an Earth wormhole to another universe. This sent them tumbling and crashing onto a planet called Earth in a mysterious universe where men are born from eggs that are laid.
They fought all over this planet, competing for the highest altitude possible without being airborne. Eventually the two of them reached the top of Mount Everest. x spied a huge, ancient looking egg and, upon detecting its power, backed away. Meanwhile, y took the opportunity to get revenge on x and performed its fusion technique with the egg. From the egg emerged a man, who promptly turned into a HUGE DRAGON.
The dragon flew away. x couldn't sense y's presence flying away, so he looked back at the egg shell where the man had originally come from, and detected y there. y had somehow messed up the fusion technique, and was now nothing more than the empty shell of a man (that turned into a dragon and flew away)! x quickly pulverised y in a fight, graphed below:
x > y where y is the opposing submission and x is a concept that beats y 100% of the time wins!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A small bakery with an emergency supply of firecrackers and duct tape
vs
George H. W. Bush and George W. Bush doing a Father-Son Kameahameha.
A shady bakery in America had finally come under scrutiny by the corrupt cops in the local district, where reportedly, an alleged undercover MI6 agent was taking residence. For whatever reason, it was a special investigation conducted by George W. Bush and George H. W. Bush.
The two of them walked up to the counter and requested to buy a loaf of bread. This was, apparently, a secret code for requesting to buy illegal fireworks and illegal super-powerful duct tape. The man said 'I'll just be one moment' and walked into the back of the store, returning with fireworks and duct tape. George and George presented their temporary police badges and stated 'You're under arrest for being in possession of illegal fireworks. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Blah blah blah etc'. The two of them ordered their cronies in and they confiscated all of the fireworks they could find in the back room, but there was no trace of the MI6 agent. George H. W. Bush ordered the cops to return to headquarters and report their success.
After the cops had left, a British man wearing ear muffs emerged from somewhere in the bakery they perhaps had missed. He beckoned them to a hidden trap door, inside of which there seemed to be a huge additional emergency supply of fireworks and duct tape. As the father and son attempted to leave through the trap door, someone above closed it. The British man threw cyanide-coated darts at the men, who reacted unusually swiftly in order to evade them.
"I knew it" the MI6 agent said in a know-it-all tone. "You are the Super Saiyans we've been looking for."
With that, George H. W. Bush and George W. Bush started emitting a yellow glow and screaming very loudly, but the MI6 agent seemed prepared. He pressed a button on his Rolex, and from behind him, hundreds of firecrackers went off, drowning out the yelling sound and psyching out the Super Saiyan duo, causing them to cease powering up. The agent threw more darts, this time aimed to knock them out rather than kill the two Saiyans. A few made contact, and George W. Bush started to feel drowsy. After a brief lightning speed combat session, the two of them realised that they couldn't win this fight, so they would resort to a cheap, cliche, and misspelt energy beam to do the job.
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEE....
Unfortunately for the father and son, there were still more firecrackers to be activated, and after a brief button-push on the Rolex, the sound of them shouting out was once more drowned out, effectively shutting down the production of the beam. The two of them collapsed, overwhelmed by the very loud sounds. The MI6 agent took off the ear muffs and tied them up with duct tape.
A small bakery with an emergency supply of firecrackers and duct tape wins!
MATCH 1
x > y where y is the opposing submission and x is a concept that beats y 100% of the time
vs
the empty shell of a man
At this point, x equals whatever beats y, which equals the empty shell of a man. It does not take much to beat an empty shell; in fact, if mathmatical statements could laugh, x>y here would be doing it. The x lowered itself to the lowest point possible. Not 0.0001, not 0.000000000000001, not 0.1^100. But way lower. But he had made a crucial mistake: he had not appreciated the worth of the emptiness within the shell. The worth of void - the usefulness of nothing. But because the formula's statement was still x>y, this value of nothing was reduced alongside. They were stretched into infinity, until they ended in a big bang.
Nothing was left.
Except the empty shell of a submission.
the empty shell of a man
---------------------------
A small bakery with an emergency supply of firecrackers and duct tape
vs
George H. W. Bush and George W. Bush doing a Father-Son Kameahameha.
Al Gore was preaching his latest release: The Inconvenient Truth. About how America would drown if they kept burning gas and destroying the ozon layer and fucking with polar bears and all that. There was only one duo who could stop him from achieving world fame: The W. Bush Duo! They countered every single bit of Al Gore's speech with so much lies and denial that he found himself with no other option but to retreat into a small bakery with an emergency supply of firecrackers and duct tape.
But this did not help him at all. The large amount of small explosives would cause for a small amount of large explosions if set on fire, which was exactly what the presidental duo decided to do. With no further hesitation, they set up their ultimate attack: the Father-Son KaMeHaMeHa.
"KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Al Gore immediatly realized what was going on, and knew there was only one way to stop this.
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
He did not have much time: the execution of this technique is done the moment their words are finished. He quickly gathered two loaves of bread, and some duct tape, and headed outside, where the two were standing in unison.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Too focused they were to break up their attack...Gore had to be quick. He stuffed their mouths with the loaves and it to their heads with duct tape.
"HHMHMHMHMHMHMMHPPH!"
And that's where it went wrong. While Kamehameha is an insanely powerful destructive device, the KamehameHMPH is something entirely different. It is later revealed this is an unused spell from the Harry Potter series, that causes its caster to blow themselves up like a balloon, before exploding into many goory pieces. Oops.
A small bakery with an emergency supply of firecrackers and duct tape
x > y where y is the opposing submission and x is a concept that beats y 100% of the time
vs
the empty shell of a man
At this point, x equals whatever beats y, which equals the empty shell of a man. It does not take much to beat an empty shell; in fact, if mathmatical statements could laugh, x>y here would be doing it. The x lowered itself to the lowest point possible. Not 0.0001, not 0.000000000000001, not 0.1^100. But way lower. But he had made a crucial mistake: he had not appreciated the worth of the emptiness within the shell. The worth of void - the usefulness of nothing. But because the formula's statement was still x>y, this value of nothing was reduced alongside. They were stretched into infinity, until they ended in a big bang.
Nothing was left.
Except the empty shell of a submission.
the empty shell of a man
---------------------------
A small bakery with an emergency supply of firecrackers and duct tape
vs
George H. W. Bush and George W. Bush doing a Father-Son Kameahameha.
Al Gore was preaching his latest release: The Inconvenient Truth. About how America would drown if they kept burning gas and destroying the ozon layer and fucking with polar bears and all that. There was only one duo who could stop him from achieving world fame: The W. Bush Duo! They countered every single bit of Al Gore's speech with so much lies and denial that he found himself with no other option but to retreat into a small bakery with an emergency supply of firecrackers and duct tape.
But this did not help him at all. The large amount of small explosives would cause for a small amount of large explosions if set on fire, which was exactly what the presidental duo decided to do. With no further hesitation, they set up their ultimate attack: the Father-Son KaMeHaMeHa.
"KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Al Gore immediatly realized what was going on, and knew there was only one way to stop this.
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
He did not have much time: the execution of this technique is done the moment their words are finished. He quickly gathered two loaves of bread, and some duct tape, and headed outside, where the two were standing in unison.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Too focused they were to break up their attack...Gore had to be quick. He stuffed their mouths with the loaves and it to their heads with duct tape.
"HHMHMHMHMHMHMMHPPH!"
And that's where it went wrong. While Kamehameha is an insanely powerful destructive device, the KamehameHMPH is something entirely different. It is later revealed this is an unused spell from the Harry Potter series, that causes its caster to blow themselves up like a balloon, before exploding into many goory pieces. Oops.
A small bakery with an emergency supply of firecrackers and duct tape
- Status