time for my own shout outs fuck yeah!!!
first of all I'd like to apologize for my atrocious 4-5 record, there is no excuse for that sort of dismal performance coming from the second most expensive player in the tour (I mean jesus christ, I'm flattered and all but going for more than SPL 3 Earthworm just fucking baffles me), especially after a 4-0 start, and frankly it's embarrassing as well as a wound to my ego. luck wasn't on my side but I should've stepped up and played at a level someone who went 33.5K should play at. I'll find solace in the fact that hopefully I helped out in other ways because no one's ever said that Kevin Crocune is a bad teammate and no one ever fuckin will.
at first I was really upset that I wasn't on the scooters but I'm glad I got to know the cryos, you guys (with some exceptions but you can't win em all) rock and once we got past our initial rough patches it was smooth sailing aside from the occasional bump. by the end of the season we had an atmosphere comparative to the ones found on great works of music such as the 90s burzum albums. also brrrrrrr is a great rally/battle/victory cry. brrrrzum....
had it been another day things might have rolled our way and I would be writing this post 2 weeks later but we fought our asses off to the very end and can figuratively walk off the figurative field with our figurative heads held high. literally.
reyscarface: thanks for having so much faith in me that you spent a comically absurd amount of cash to get me on your team. you weren't the most absurdly active manager (how dare you have a life am I right boys??) but when you were around to make suggestions befitting the all-time great you are. wow that looks gay and pretentious in writing but backspacing on phone is a fucking nightmare. anyway you were always willin to help out and put an overall good team together so thanks man it was an ice time (haaaaaaa) marred by what we can only call "pokemon"
dice: oh quincy. you remember sam, the ex I spent many nights crying to you about during our tour 16 frenzy? never again, btw. anyway you and I have the same relationship. one day we're best buds and the next we're at each other's throats. I still remember in february 2012 when I was near the top of the ladder, which so captivated princess brii aka lejla from bosnia, that "she" just had to find out more info about this enthralling "art of ruin" character. we both agreed volturn was cancer and something had to be done about it amg! anyway princess it was awesome being with you again, from complaining about your reasoning during teambuilding to grossing you out with metal lyrics/sex talk. love u fdicep :3
ojama: been a while since we used to fight on ladder in 2011... I was honestly not looking forward to being on your team after the spl 4 scooters fiasco and we didn't start off too great (most notably: no, @ cloyster, which is hilarious looking back at it). however you made an incredible turnaround in like no time at all and became an excellent teammate. my favorite part was when you defied everyone's expectations about you being linear in adv and made that fucking beautiful moltres team (and zam but the people unfortunately never got to see that one hue) which was only stopped by extraordinarily lame turns of events. it was good to see you prove you just had an off season last year, happens to the best (don't think anyone can contest that you are one of them...) and of course you created fdicep. awesome work brother it's a shame luck bit you in the ass in the later weeks.
living so zambian: karpman honus vn where do I begin. I am so glad you caved in to quincy and signed up for spl because over the years you have displayed the qualities of the ideal teammate (and a lack of douchebaggery which is valuable beyond words in this day and age). the mix of being a great player (your lack of confidence is the only thing holding you back) who's always willing to test while also being a great guy to talk to with an incredible sense of humor is a manager's dream. it has been a pleasure watching you grow from bw1 rain stall enthusiast to one of the most hard working, humble top ou players in spl. don't lose that virtue, it's a beacon of light among the narcissistic braggarts that plague us today. however you should learn that it's ok to acknowledge that you're good at something which you fuckin are (everyone raves about your artwork for a reason I might add). I put the hippowdon in a sarcophagus
badabing: I would love to write a fuckin essay on how much I love this dude's wit but I don't have dice's thesaurus on me rn and thus I'm left without words that can sufficiently describe how phenomenal it is. you putting limitless in his place for being a disrespectful little bitch was undeniably a highlight of the season and sparked the rally cry vamos. learning uu in a pinch without hesitation showed how much of a team player you were and you stayed thuggin on skype keeping us all in good spirits, your back and forths with kink were very entertaining. don't slip me that grass knot though! I talked to fayne recently btw. he could've been a smogon great if he tried...
Reymedy: I never want to see you in any tier that isn't bw, ever. you are a fucking terror at it. that game against evuelf (if you're reading this ily btw) was absolutely gorgeous. the preparation you put in makes me feel like a chump in comparison and I liked to think I went in pretty hard myself. when you do play oras keep bringing the innovation, I love seeing it. would retain the fuck out of/10
Go10: I remember when you used to kick my shit in during spl 3, I was not very prepared for cb terrak... but I dodged all the stone edges so hue. it was great seeing you dump on everyone smirking at your record, and there were two games you should've won but didn't because pokemon is amazing. I've always liked your style and approach to the game and it was satisfying seeing you get some deserved results. keep bringing the heat brother
picollo: monstrous gscer and great teammate, always keeping things positive. we made some pretty sick teams this year! marowak + drumlax GOAT. come to worlds yn
49: the first time I heard of you I had just played sugarhigh in dpp and he used the team august and I built during wcop, rose/zong/gar/tran/milo/kou. I mentioned this and he said "no col49 built it" which infuriated me; who did this chimpact-dickriding RU player who probably didn't know the first thing about dpp think he was, claiming a team like that? however when we were desperate for ru I'd seen some of your forum posts and thought hey this guy knows his stuff and you didn't disappoint. it also greatly helped when we learned you were actually trolling the chimpster. you're also forever in my debt for building the team you used in your first win. sr rindo rhyperior, double spikes qwilfish, sd doublade, jolly lo hitmonlee, lo tangrowth, scarf moltres... god that is sexy. anyway keep doin big things, you comma enthusiast
kingofmars: you didn't talk all that much but when you did you were awesome. don't get bad matchups at worlds this year!
sweep: Fairfield county represent ayyyyyy. monstrous uber player whose record doesn't do him justice, all three losses had incredible lameness in them. keep putting in work
giara: nice work man you did great this year. giaramvp for sure.
lutra: you weren't around much but you're a hell of a rbyer despite the incredibly retarded shit that the tier contains.
meridian: your only issue is a lack of confidence. your creativity is through the roof and you've got some nice bw skills. keep it up.
dunk: back from the dead, you weren't as active as we'd have liked but it's just in your blood to be a great uu player. vamos
king uu: your uu knowledge is unparalleled. be patient and your time will come.
malefic: you've got potential, just slow down and think things through a few turns ahead, you'll be fine. believe in yourself.
mack bus: you weren't on much but when you were you were cool and gave the ou guys some nice tests so thanks
psychotic: shame you quit, you have great taste in rap. would've been nice to see how you did but unfortunately nas dragged you down with him like mr. jones' career did post-illmatic
donkey: you were cool, man. I'll see you at uconn sometime
spirit: everyone else has torn into you but I feel it needs to be reiterated that you have a lot of fucking nerve to pull the shit you did and then make such an incredibly rich self-pitying post. to act like you were at all a victim when we had to fucking beg you to even speak to us in the first place requires audacity of the highest level. taking the easy way out and shit talking us behind our backs despite dice's numerous attempts to reach out to you shows what kind of person you are.
Ciele: not a cryo but my favorite person ever. stay brutal
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
go scooters!!!!!!!!!!!!!