Serious Relationships and Sex Ed Thread

[vonFiedler]

A couple of weeks ago a friend introduced me to a girl he knew who is really into giving nuru massages. We exchanged numbers and I was super stoked for it. In hindsight, I don't know why I thought a nuru massage would be any good (as a massage). There's absolutely no directed pressure involved.

 

[Glen]

Anyway back to sexual stuff. Multiple people mentioned homosexuals so I got a question about that. Let me start out with saying that I'm a quite liberal, I've got nothing against homosexuals as long as they don't try to do me. However every encounter I've had with one turned negatively. With them either creeping on me or one of my friends. In one case a friend of my ended up punching him out for him to finally understand that his backside is an exit only.
So my question is, are they usually like that?
Was it because they just had to try every chance they got, cause they didn't know others of their preference?
Was it simply because they were drinking and not thinking? Or did I simply met with bad examples?

they're no more like that than hetero dudes. i know a few aggressive gays, and i know a hell of a lot more aggressive straights. it's just a type of personality.

 

[Django]

Yeah you definitely were just unlucky, the large majority of gay people I know are just as normal as straight people when it comes to hitting on people. Some are agressive, others are not, it's just human really.

 

[Turtle Soup]

The stealing wasn't really a need thing, was more of a just do it cause let's do stupid shit. We pretty much stopped after one of us got caught. On the gay matter, that's pretty much what I guessed just thought I'd bring it up for conversations sake.

 

[Ninahaza]

whiles we are on the subject of homosexicles, i once heard that almost every guy has had at least 1 gay experience. let us share please (this was a serious post)

now i'm a straight guy myself, and yes i have been hit on by a gay guy more than once actually. this is not me bragging. anyways, yeah, i'll share a gay experience (and arguably one of my most interesting experiences) if others share as well.

Edit: also will probably share some of my experiences in general. most of them are heterosexual esperiences with some good looking girls, dont worry (as i said, i'm a straight guy).

 

[Zacchaeus]

What do you mean by gay experience unless that's entirely literal? In which case I'm straight and have not expressed bisexual tendencies so I can't contribute. Well I've played gay chicken before does that count

Edit: Duh

 

[Ninahaza]

no, dont read too much into it. simply put, an experience with the same sex.

 

[VKCA]

If you don't like me I don't understand why you read my posts

I mean, "I'm going to talk some more shit to this guy every day he posts" doesn't sound like a mentally healthy thing to do

Just put me on ignore or something

or don't, keep talking shit about me on IRC with the rest of Smogon's elitist users & make it a point to show me you exist cos I love that shit

not really but w/e

I wonder if the popular users of Smogon like being treated like this

EDIT: beginning to remember why I stopped coming to this website in the first place

just another version of high school

lol jesus dude relax it was obviously a joke

Anyway back to sexual stuff. Multiple people mentioned homosexuals so I got a question about that. Let me start out with saying that I'm a quite liberal, I've got nothing against homosexuals as long as they don't try to do me. However every encounter I've had with one turned negatively. With them either creeping on me or one of my friends. In one case a friend of my ended up punching him out for him to finally understand that his backside is an exit only.
So my question is, are they usually like that?
Was it because they just had to try every chance they got, cause they didn't know others of their preference?
Was it simply because they were drinking and not thinking? Or did I simply met with bad examples?

No, by and large you won't even notice when someone is gay (unless you have a good gaydar). 99% of them act like (shocker!!!) human beings (well I say 99% but in my experience it's been all of them but obviously I haven't met every gay on the planet sooo). I've only been hit on once by a gay guy (and I was at a gay club, so entirely my fault) and as soon as I told him I wasn't gay (and jailbait) he backed off. I've never heard of any of my friends getting unwanted attention, but if they did, I'm sure a polite no thank you will be enough to get anybody off your back.


Nina when I was drunk I once kissed one of my guy friends. That's about as far as I've gone. I kissed a girl that had just kissed another girl once does that count? lesbian sloppy seconds?

 

[Turtle Soup]

No, by and large you won't even notice when someone is gay (unless you have a good gaydar). 99% of them act like (shocker!!!) human beings (well I say 99% but in my experience it's been all of them but obviously I haven't met every gay on the planet sooo). I've only been hit on once by a gay guy (and I was at a gay club, so entirely my fault) and as soon as I told him I wasn't gay (and jailbait at the time) he backed off. I've never heard of any of my friends getting unwanted attention, but if they did, I'm sure a polite no thank you will be enough to get anybody off your back.

Yeah I usually don't even notice if someones gay. A lot of times I'm at restaurant or something with my family and my mother says that the waiter is gay or something. I'm like really? Didn't even notice. It's only the ones I meet at pubs/parties that were aggressive. Well that may also say something about the places I liked to go...

 

[Django]

I never lose at gay chicken so yeah, there's that.

 

[Brammi]

I almost never lose at gay chicken. I've only lost when he was getting ready for a bj, to put it in perspective. Awkward what two straight guys will do when their pride is at stake.

My friends and I are all very open. We all make out with each other for shits and gigs.

 

[Zacchaeus]

My friends and I are all very open. We all make out with each other for shits and gigs.

So you're bi? I don't see how people can do that without being gay

 

[Chill Murray]

How do you guys feel about telling a girl with a boyfriend you're super into her. YET you're friends currently

This is two pages late, but I probably wouldn't go for it. Two things to keep in mind:

- if she thinks the relationship she has with her boyfriend is worth keeping, then she will probably cut off any kind of contact with you. You'll lose a friend.
- if she decides to dump her current boyfriend and get with you, expect the same treatment later. If she can hop from one guy to you in an instant, there's nothing stopping her from hopping from you to another guy later down the line.

I'd just advise you to keep your feelings to yourself until they pass. They will pass over time, and you can help hasten this process by finding someone else (more available) to crush on.

 

[Vintage Books]

So you're bi? I don't see how people can do that without being gay

It doesn't mean he is bi or gay it just means he is comfortable enough in his sexuality to know kissing other boys doesn't mean anything and just a bit of fun etc. Sexuality isn't about what you do but is about how you feel towards either sex. I'm gay but I have gone pretty far with girls in the past but it doesn't change the fact that I am not attracted to them.

 

[Turtle Soup]

So you're bi? I don't see how people can do that without being gay

Kind of agree with this. I would probably puke if I had to make out with another dude. Hell I'd rather touch a someones dick then have their tongue in my mouth.
Also why the hell do people do this gay chicken thing? It's almost as stupid as the soggy biscuit game...

 

[Django]

doing whatever with another guy doesn't make you gay or bi; if you are sexually attracted to the same sex and actually enjoying making out with them then it's different. It's the same way as being intimate with a member of the opposite sex doesn't automatically mean anything, it's all dependent on circumstances and the actual enjoyment achieved.

Also gay chicken is a test of pride and how comfortable you are around the same sex, don't hate. Soggy biscuit is a whole other level...

 

[JaySee]

Well guys, I'm at a bit of a sticky situation. It all started this january. I was at a new years party, and met this girl, Charity. Charity had bright red hair, rosy cheeks, cute freckles, and a killer smile. I will admit, there was some hard core fruit punch drinking, and we ended up having sex. I thought that was the end of it, but boy was I wrong. We ended up in quite the predicament. I would come over every night, she would sneak into my chem class for a quick handy, and that went on for a few months. One day, we were trying out wheelbarrow position, and I heard my mothers footsteps down the hall. I quickly tossed her her panties, and we got dressed as my mother walked in. I felt pretty clever at that moment. Avoided disaster, and had a story to tell my mom already in my head. We were both giggling at the plump appendage pushing out of my shorts, but luckily my mother didn't notice. The smiles ended there. As I prepared to explain why my friend from school was over to study, my mom addressed her by name.

"Charity, it's nice to see you here. I didn't know you met your cousin Anthony."

I'm glad to say that I was the guy in our relationship, else I would have choked as bad as she did. We played it off as homework buddies, finished up the wheelbarrow and a quick hand run, then got to planning. It was so wrong, but it felt so right.

In the end, we decided to call it quits. That lasted two days. The acrobatics returned as soon as the sweet smell of her perfume aroused my nostrils.

That was until, I met Bertha. Bertha was a bit older than Charity. Admittedly she was a husky babe, but tender and moist all the same. Her bosom was a loft, and my head, ever rested. This secret affair lasted a while, until I finally went over to meet Charity's parents; aunt Jennie and uncle Huck. I walked in, sat down, and was greeted by a warm cup of tea.

Sipping the tea, I looked up and asked Charity

"Wow this is great, who made it?"

"My sister"

she replied. In walked Bertha.


And that brings us today, fellow Smogonites. I don't want to hurt Charity, but bertha is such a warm, caring soul. What do I do? To whom's bosom should I lay?

 

[Brammi]

It doesn't mean he is bi or gay it just means he is comfortable enough in his sexuality to know kissing other boys doesn't mean anything and just a bit of fun etc. Sexuality isn't about what you do but is about how you feel towards either sex. I'm gay but I have gone pretty far with girls in the past but it doesn't change the fact that I am not attracted to them.

This, we actually have a theory that the guy that refuses to participate is actually closet gay and just doesn't want us to know.

 

[Turtle Soup]

How did proving ones sexuality turn from punching other dudes to kissing them? Btw I'm not saying either is right. Generally judging someone based on what they're comfortable doing is a dick move in my opinion.

 

[Vintage Books]

It's not really about judging other people, It's about how YOU feel about what you are doing. If you feel comfortable kissing other guys because you know that you are straight then it really doesn't matter what other people think.

Basically if you enjoy kissing people, then being able to kiss people with no strings attached and no chance of further sexual shit if that's not what you want is fun, and if you feel comfortable doing it I don't see why not. Basically kissing people is fun so why the hell not?

 

[Django]

Judging someone either way based on gay chicken (or other standardss) is dumb. It's a game, not meant to be taken seriously in any way. Some people are more comfortable than others with it, that's fine. Also why do we have to judge peoples sexuality anyway, at the end of the day who cares ?_?

 

[Pernicious]

thatsmylatios i don't know if your dislike of gays and your rigid framework of sexual behavior stem from your religious beliefs (in which case i would not argue with you) but if not i'd ask you to try to be more understanding of the realities of human sexuality, please

i agree with vintage books. the concept of being sexually attracted to one sex but occasionally being interested in members of the opposite sex is one that's completely misunderstood by society today. that's why it seems so weird!

i'm not going to go into the gender binary here -- i understand that there are such designations as intersex, asexual, genderqueer and whatever else that complicate things but because those comprise a super small number of the population it makes more sense to just talk about homos and heteros for the time being

something alfred a kinsey said:

Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories... The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects.

and here's something from the american psychological association

Sexual orientation is commonly discussed as a characteristic of the individual, like biological sex, gender identity, or age. This perspective is incomplete because sexual orientation is always defined in relational terms and necessarily involves relationships with other individuals. Sexual acts and romantic attractions are categorized as homosexual or heterosexual according to the biological sex of the individuals involved in them, relative to each other. Indeed, it is by acting—or desiring to act—with another person that individuals express their heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bisexuality. This includes actions as simple as holding hands with or kissing another person. Thus, sexual orientation is integrally linked to the intimate personal relationships that human beings form with others to meet their deeply felt needs for love, attachment, and intimacy. In addition to sexual behavior, these bonds encompass nonsexual physical affection between partners, shared goals and values, mutual support, and ongoing commitment.[2]

in short: sexual attraction doesn't exist in a vacuum but can depend on specific people, AND most people's sexuality exists somewhere along a spectrum, it's not completely polarized as the media would have you believe. really, all we get in movies/tv/books/comics/culture is GAY or STRAIGHT or BISEXUAL (or jack harkness) meaning that characters either only want to be sexually involved, romantically involved, emotionally involved with just women, or just men, or they're super promiscuous beings. so that's why the notion of wanting to have any kind of intimate experience with another guy or girl seems so weird especially to people who define as straight. i'm sexually attracted to women. when i see a girl i normally want to fuck her (sorry to be crude, but i'm just talking in sexual terms) and when i see a guy i don't want to fuck him. but i have felt a small amount of sexual attraction towards some guys, like hey wouldn't it be fun to suck his dick? or something like that, and i honestly think that that's normal.

straight "pride" means nothing. you do know that in the greco-roman world, most people were sexually mixed, and the real indicator of status was whether you fucked people in the ass or were fucked in the ass yourself? submissive vs. dominant, not straight vs. gay. you could fuck 1000 17 year old boys in the butt and be seen as the most manly dude alive, but if you performed oral sex on a woman you would be instantly seen as submissive and weak. and try to tell me there were bigger badasses than the spartans. in fact if you think about it what's more manly than fucking another man right? i'm proud of liking girls, and i'm not ashamed that i think some of my guy friends are attractive! and the more you think about it you realize that liking someone just means you like them -- you don't have to make a huge deal out of being ***gay*** and come out to your parents and everything and star in glee the musical, we just like to lump everyone into these very precise categories when human sexuality is really much more of a scatterplot than a binary. this is so obvious for so many factors of human experience (school, dating, sports, art,....literally anything you can think of has dumb designations that don't conform to the variegated types of people that "should" fit into them) so why is it weird that it applies to sexuality?

i'm aware that this is probably the gayest post i've ever written, but i think it's important to note that times and social attitudes determine sexual modalities, they're not **completely** innate!

edit because i don't want to turn this into a huge argument about buttfucking

I'm secure in my sexuality so I can play gay chicken or make dumb jokes but tongue kissing a guy is fucking disgusting. If he had said "Every once in a while I'll bend over and take it up the ass from one of my straight guy friends just for fun" does that make him an extremely secure heterosexual?

this behavior seems disgusting to you Zacchaeus. i'm not sure why you feel you can make value judgments about sexual behavior that you are not wired to appreciate. feeling "secure" in one sexuality just means not feeling "oh, i had romantic feelings for this guy, does that mean i'm not a man/not attracted to girls?" the extreme-ness of the homosexual act has absolutely nothing to do with that feeling of secureness, WHICH LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE, DEPENDS ON THE SPECIFIC PERSON AND SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES.

edit 2: okay so please edit your post "i personally feel that homosexual acts are disgusting" <-- i wish you didn't but it's marginally less dumb and offensive than blanket statements

 

[Ninahaza]

Jesus Christ, I didnt mean to turn this into an argument/debate on sexuality and what defines one's sexual orientation. ALL I ASKED WAS FOR PEOPLE TO SHARE AN EXPERIENCE WITH THE SAME SEX THAT THEY'VE HAD.

It doesn't mean he is bi or gay it just means he is comfortable enough in his sexuality to know kissing other boys doesn't mean anything and just a bit of fun etc. Sexuality isn't about what you do but is about how you feel towards either sex. I'm gay but I have gone pretty far with girls in the past but it doesn't change the fact that I am not attracted to them.

If you seriously cannot understand this, then there is nothing anyone can do to help you understand what being gay, bi, or straight is. If you are still confused, then i advice you to do some research on your own because i will not allow this thread to be turned into whatever direction it is heading currently.

I mean, seriously, just take a look at the stories you hear about male porn stars in the adult film industry turning to gay porn because they are offered way more money to fuck a guy than a girl. do you think all of these guys all of a sudden turned gay? no. again, as Vintage Books put it, "Sexuality isn't about what you do but is about how you feel towards either sex. I'm gay but I have gone pretty far with girls in the past but it doesn't change the fact that I am not attracted to them"

 

[Zacchaeus]

I'm secure in my sexuality so I can play gay chicken or make dumb jokes but tongue kissing a guy is fucking disgusting. If he had said "Every once in a while I'll bend over and take it up the ass from one of my straight guy friends just for fun" does that make him an extremely secure heterosexual?

to you, Zacchaeus, it is disgusting to you.

Edit: Right, because I disagree with homosexuality so that's not something I would indulge in

 

[Django]

I'm secure in my sexuality so I can play gay chicken or make dumb jokes but tongue kissing a guy is fucking disgusting. If he had said "Every once in a while I'll bend over and take it up the ass from one of my straight guy friends just for fun" does that make him an extremely secure heterosexual?

Yeah man the two things can totally be compared on the same level.

Your opinion =/= fact. Lets move away from this dumb back and forth lol